…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?
I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.
My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.
Right now I’m writing dnd tentacle erotica because 1) it’s been my on and off WIP for years and 2) I’ve particularly gotten back to it lately because I’m royally pissed off that the baldur’s gate illithid sex scene uses PIV when tentacle cunnilingus is the obvious thing that people who are sexually interested in illithids want to see and I would fucking know.
My other long term WIP is a gender-swapped / femdom pretty woman historical fiction in a 1900s where society evolved matriarchally and that explores how various social classes of men and women would present under that paradigm. (The other one includes similar concepts when they meet the drow).
I’m particularly fascinated in exploring ways in which those gender inequalities would present in (predominantly) negative ways (as any inequality does) such as men being expected to focus on their looks (think birds of paradise) and men being considered disposable in a similar but exaggerated way to how young men in patriarchal societies are sent to war over rich people’s squabbles.
I find a lot of femdom porn just makes the women act like men but while wearing corsets and heels and/or “sissifying” the men while I would prefer to explore the ways that a focus on appearances and makeup would be used to enhance / exaggerate a masculine gender presentation. Also I want to write about fucking pretty men.
I’ve read a few things by William Joseph Martin AKA Poppy Z. Brite that 1. I enjoyed and 2. Was surprised that I did.
I’m curious about Anne Rice’s pseudonym stories, but haven’t gotten around to them yet. I’m always way behind on my reading list.
The next time our group encounters a Mind Flayer, I will be suppressing a grin.