My cousin works for a really decent dude doing renovations. I mean, fuck the capitalist class and all, but he treats people right and doesn’t fuck over customers either.
Anyway, the guy is known for being super serious and “professional” when he’s in the office. But he’s also known for just working with his crew, none of that office stuff when he’s away from it.
So some of the guys start planning a little prank when they hear he’s going to hire on a couple of roofers.
Because I love my cousin, and he offered me a jar or five of something special to sell off or whatever, I jumped in.
The shtick was that some of the guys would hype me up, say I was great at roofing, and I’d interview, pulling my fuckery as best I could.
Now, I’m known to be scared of heights. And I’m applying as a roofer.
The was the bit.
At one point he asks me something technical, and I have zero clue what he’s talking about, so I go for it. Start crying, just wailing about how I’ve been faking being a roofer for years, I’m scared of heights, but my dad was a roofer, and his dad was a roofer, so I have to carry on the family trade.
I beg him to hire me anyway, I’ll do anything, I’m not afraid to do really nasty work, no matter how disgusting.
He is flummoxed. There’s a fucking sasquatch sobbing in his office.
He starts asking what else I can do. I tell him I can carry stuff ( I’m a big dude, so that was believable), I can clean, I can score drugs for him, babysit his kids, I just need a job bad!
Now, that threw him for a loop. He had been all about actually finding me a job, because he really is a good dude.
But that spiel? He starts suggesting I might not be a great fit, but maybe he can refer me to someone. So I break out the crazy, say I’ll give him hand jobs, I’ll eat his wife out, I’ll even bang his dog.
The guy isn’t stupid, and he realizes something is up. He asks me who put me up to this shit and starts laughing.
So, I call my cousin and tell him I have no idea what the fuck happened, but the guy hired me, and now I need to learn how to put shingles on houses, and he’s been assigned to teach me, but he’s going to have to figure out how to carry me up a ladder.
I pulled a stunt like that as a prank.
My cousin works for a really decent dude doing renovations. I mean, fuck the capitalist class and all, but he treats people right and doesn’t fuck over customers either.
Anyway, the guy is known for being super serious and “professional” when he’s in the office. But he’s also known for just working with his crew, none of that office stuff when he’s away from it.
So some of the guys start planning a little prank when they hear he’s going to hire on a couple of roofers.
Because I love my cousin, and he offered me a jar or five of something special to sell off or whatever, I jumped in.
The shtick was that some of the guys would hype me up, say I was great at roofing, and I’d interview, pulling my fuckery as best I could.
Now, I’m known to be scared of heights. And I’m applying as a roofer.
The was the bit.
At one point he asks me something technical, and I have zero clue what he’s talking about, so I go for it. Start crying, just wailing about how I’ve been faking being a roofer for years, I’m scared of heights, but my dad was a roofer, and his dad was a roofer, so I have to carry on the family trade.
I beg him to hire me anyway, I’ll do anything, I’m not afraid to do really nasty work, no matter how disgusting.
He is flummoxed. There’s a fucking sasquatch sobbing in his office.
He starts asking what else I can do. I tell him I can carry stuff ( I’m a big dude, so that was believable), I can clean, I can score drugs for him, babysit his kids, I just need a job bad!
Now, that threw him for a loop. He had been all about actually finding me a job, because he really is a good dude.
But that spiel? He starts suggesting I might not be a great fit, but maybe he can refer me to someone. So I break out the crazy, say I’ll give him hand jobs, I’ll eat his wife out, I’ll even bang his dog.
The guy isn’t stupid, and he realizes something is up. He asks me who put me up to this shit and starts laughing.
So, I call my cousin and tell him I have no idea what the fuck happened, but the guy hired me, and now I need to learn how to put shingles on houses, and he’s been assigned to teach me, but he’s going to have to figure out how to carry me up a ladder.