Most girls I see with big curly (or other textured) hair use wraps or bonnets of some kind, usually silk. It does usually have a snug elastic band around the forehead, backs of the ears, and nape of the neck, but the top that holds the actual hair is usually looser and flowy. Another option is to contain the hair in a silk scarf wrapped in some sort of elaborate layered wrap system that you can either look up on YouTube or possibly go learn from a black or other curl / texture specializing hairdresser. If you’re looking for something more masculine, black men usually call it a do-rag, or you could get a bonnet that is in a darker more subdued color and side profile.

In either case you would have to accept that big textured hair does demand somewhat counter-cultural styles just for practical reasons; there’s a lot of stigma around them, at least in the states. I work in an institutional setting in a predominately black area and one of the more twisted bits of US irony is that we institutionalize black and other non-white people more often, then don’t stock the hair products they need, then send them to court looking a fucking mess.

We had a really really beautiful success / recovery story this week after I had an utterly hellish experience with the same patient the previous week and I was reflecting that I really live for those moments because it can be otherwise difficult to justify my role in this system, and I work in the kinder mental health half now, not the completely fucked correctional end. Sorry for the tangent, I’ve had some pretty big emotional highs and lows of late.