When i first heard the news, it felt surreal. But when that passed, i felt nothing.
I don’t really know what to do or feel. I saw her only a few days ago, and that was the first time i have saw her in years. She barely talked, she had alzheimers. She didn’t remember anyone. I remember as a child, seeing her handicapped but still able to have conversation and conscious.
I only have a few memories of her. It’s so vague, since those were when i was 6 or something. The only clear memory is of her yelling at me as a child. Or maybe not her, my memory is unreliable.
Half an hour later, it sunk in. She’s dead. I will never see her again. Just… I don’t know. I’m so confused. I’m a little teary eyed but the rest is just static. What of it? What do i expect to gain from this post? I don’t know. I just wanted to tell someone. I just feel like shit.
yup, this is common with terminal illnesses in general, particularly ones that result in a lot of physical or emotional suffering. A lot of people feel guilty that a person’s death could cause them to feel so much relief, even if it’s specifically in relation to the end of their loved one’s suffering. There’s no right way to mourn.