For me this is painful.
I became a born again christian in my first year at University. I thought I’d found god…
Of course there was slight problem. I knew I was gay, and wondered what to do about it.
Nothing seemed to work, whatever I did, I was always gay.
Then it blew up in my face, and an incident occured at University. Shortly afterwards I walked away unable to reconcile what happened and being gay. I just wanted it all to go away and leave me alone.
Eight years later, I had the opportunity to sit down with a therapist and discuss what happened. She helped me through it, and I found an answer that made sense.
I stopped fighting being gay and came out.
My therapist was paid for by the company I worked for, who believed in gay rights. The company closed a long time ago, but they were called Digital Equipment Co. Ltd, a branch of Digital in the UK.
Not sure if I’m supposed to be sticking my head around here. I do not identify as LGBT. But y’all seem pretty chill.
Personally I’m all against it. I took a while to consciously realize it, but the belief had been falling apart for years. Around that time I had a brother come out as trans/gay, and all of us (siblings, I mean. And there are a good many of us) just kinda collectively said, “cool, whatev” while my religious mother kinda just pretends it didn’t happen.
She just keeps praying “she’ll” (barf) stop “thinking she’s a boy”. And she has the nerve to actually act confused when he doesn’t wanna visit home. (most of us live in town)
It seems all but one sibling has also deconverted, but since none of us has any issue with him, she now thinks we’re all going to hell.
I thought this connection makes the comment relatable to the community at least.
So the short answer is it has driven a wedge into the family between the kids and mom. Dad is just kinda quiet about it, doesn’t like to stick his opinion into stuff or get confrontational. I get it, I actually get a lot of that from him, so I really get it. But I don’t think most of us hold his opinion against him as much, but at the end of it all, he does still agree with her. Mom is very vocal about it, constantly posting stuff on facebook like sad memes (well, not memes, but just images of text or quotes saying stuff like “it’s so hard being ignored by your kids”.
I’m stuck trying to play peacekeeper. Without getting too much into my story I had a medical issue and had to move back in with them, hopefully getting out in the next year or so when my issue is resolved and I can get back to work.
I don’t have to live here in the sexuality closet, but I’m hella closeted about my atheism. Around them at least, everyone else I interact with is under no illusion. At this point I honestly think she might hurt herself if I told her that, for several reasons I won’t get into.
So it’s very awkward when she mentions anything about her church friends, or I suddenly leave the room when Fox News comes on. She hasn’t gone to a service for a long time. But if she picks it back up, I’m gonna have to figure out an excuse.
Fuck, I can ramble sometimes. Somebody shut me up. 🤣