A story I find funny, though most people will just shrug and say “and?”

So, a while back, we had an exterminator door-to-door guy ring the bell while I was feeling spunky. Normally, I just go to the door in my underwear (stripping on the way if need be) with some kind of edged object in my hand and glare at salesmen while telling them not to ever come back.

But I was feeling spunky. So I went to the door dressed and friendly. He starts the spiel with some shit about having talked to all the neighbors, and how there’s a roach problem in the area (there isn’t, we’re a fairly close group in this neighbourhood). I give him the eyebrow lift and start my patented “my yard is bug friendly because” lecture.

And we don’t get roaches because our spiders and chicken are fucking awesome that way.

But he’s a cool guy, we get talking about native planting and shit. But it’s going a little long, and he gives another effort at the sale. So, I stop him and tell him my spiders are better than any spray they have, and he can look if he doesn’t believe me.

He says he believes me, but maybe he should look anyway, just in case I missed something. You know, wanting a chance to point out something and spin it into a sales pitch again.

So I take him around to the crawl space entry, open it up, and hand him my flashlight (edc crew represent!).

He takes a knee, sticks his head in and gives a “holy shit” while jumping back.

All the little ladies under there are gleaming like patent leather shoes, doing their thing, keeping undesirables away.

They don’t bother us, and we don’t have bug problems :)

But the guy didn’t rry another pitch lol