• @Cry_in_the_Walk_In
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    -210 months ago

    It can be found at adamgoodcoffee.square.site/, for those interested

      • @Cry_in_the_Walk_In
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        110 months ago

        No, I have a favorite brand of coffee that I buy, so I won’t be trying this anytime soon. I had to look it up though, because I had a hard time believing it was a real thing.

        • @Captainvaqina
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          1010 months ago

          This is such a fascinating real conversation between sock puppet accounts trying to push the coffee that this ad post is all about.

          • @[email protected]
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            fedilink
            510 months ago

            [Cheerful music starts. Camera zooms in on a fake-looking living room set. Two actors, JACKIE and DAVE, are seated on a sofa, laughing. They turn toward the camera, holding a cup of coffee.]

            JACKIE (excitedly): Oh, Dave! This coffee tastes sooo amazing. What is it?

            DAVE (with a wide grin): Well, Jackie, it’s not just any coffee! It’s… [holds the coffee jar dramatically up to the camera] WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!

            JACKIE (in mock disbelief): WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG, Dave? Really?

            DAVE: That’s right, Jackie! The strongest and fastest instant coffee on the market!

            [Cut to close-up of JACKIE taking a sip of her coffee. Her eyes widen in amazement.]

            JACKIE: Mmm, Dave, it’s so bold and robust. I’ve never tasted instant coffee this good before.

            DAVE (pointing to the jar): And the best part, Jackie, is that it’s ready in seconds!

            [Quick montage of DAVE spooning coffee into a cup, pouring water, and stirring.]

            JACKIE: Wow, Dave, that was so fast!

            DAVE (nodding): Yes, Jackie! No more waiting around for your morning coffee. With WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG, you get the kick you need instantly!

            [Camera pans to a group of bad actors in the background pretending to have a party. They’re all holding WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG jars and smiling awkwardly.]

            PARTY GUEST #1: Hey, Jackie and Dave, thanks for introducing us to WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!

            PARTY GUEST #2: Yes, Jackie! Now my mornings are faster and more energetic, thanks to Dave and you!

            JACKIE (winking at the camera): No need to thank us! Just enjoy the robust flavor and instant energy of WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!

            DAVE: And, Jackie, did you know that for a limited time, our viewers can get not one, but TWO jars of WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG for the price of one?

            JACKIE (gasping): Two for the price of one, Dave? That’s unbelievable!

            DAVE (pointing at the camera): That’s right, folks! Call now, and double your energy for half the price!

            [Phone number flashes on the screen with images of the coffee jar.]

            JACKIE: Hurry, Dave says it’s for a limited time only!

            DAVE: So true, Jackie! Don’t miss out!

            JACKIE & DAVE (together, holding the jar high and smiling too much): WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG – For the strong and speedy you!

            [Cheerful music fades. The screen goes black with the phone number and the offer details.]

            Narrator (voiceover): Call now. Offer valid while supplies last. Terms and conditions apply.

            • @Captainvaqina
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              110 months ago

              Absolutely. You’re commenting in an ad post right now.