I board as per usual without a hiccup on my flight from Denver to LA and I sit in my usual aisle seat. Waves of people walk past me for several minutes until the line trickles out and I realize that the doors are closed and I HAVE THE WHOLE ROW TO MYSELF!!

I am absolutely hyped this has never happened to me. I can fucking lay down in economy! Then I look across the aisle and my aisle buddy has a full row too! We high five everything is fucking fantastic.

Then the rub, I hear a guy two rows back ask for a new seat… I very literally prayed to a god I don’t believe in to spare me this night, and let me tell you god is real. I feel so bad for my aisle buddy though because the Kevin ended up sitting with him.

Let me tell you, reader, that is not all.

I set up my backpack as a pillow and chilled for a while before the drink cart came down. I figure I’m celebrating a big win so I decide to ask for a jack and coke for the first time on a flight. My flight attendant, this sweet sweet man, hands me TWO MINI JACK DANIELS AND A WHOLE CAN OF COKE FOR FREE!!! Do you hear what I am telling you??

I am fucking FLYING tonight bois. Not only do I get a whole row to my self despite all the odds, I also get two free drinks, AND IM CUTE!!! Fuck I feel good.

  • @funkless_eck
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    37 months ago

    you can’t drink your own alcohol on flights sadly

    • @[email protected]
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      fedilink
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      7 months ago

      If I buy a bottle of whiskey and a 2 liter coke beforehand in the duty free and mix them up in the toilet in the airport so it looks like I drink coke, I sure can!

    • @[email protected]
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      fedilink
      27 months ago

      Pre 9/11 they let you bring water through security but not alcohol bc they wanted to sell you their own. Guess what a water bottle full of gin and tonic looks like.