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seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Every Table At Local Applebee’s Populated By Different Militia

www.theonion.com

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Every Table At Local Applebee’s Populated By Different Militia

www.theonion.com

seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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JACKSON, MI—With camouflage-clad members gathered in corner booths and at high-tops throughout the restaurant, sources confirmed Wednesday that every table at a local Applebee’s was populated by a different militia. “Yeah, so those are the Boogaloo Boys at table 3, Michigan Home Guard over near the door, and then…
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  • Feirdro@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I often wonder what my future Christian warlord will look like.

    Bandanas, backwards baseball caps and pedophilia always feature heavily.

    • TheCrispyDud@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Probably a “Children Onboard” bumper/window sticker too but for all the wrong reasons.

  • theodewere@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I’m not hearing them discussing anarcho-capitalism or kidnapping anyone, which is nice. We told them if they wanted to talk about that stuff they should leave it back at their headquarters.”

    LOL nice piece of satire guys

  • Yewb@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    They love those masks now

    • Anticorp@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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      1 year ago

      Wear a mask to save people’s lives? Eek!

      Wear a mask to hide your identity when espousing racist ideals? Thumbs up!

  • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Even reactionaries are forced to admit that dollaritas are a deal too good to pass up. Too bad it’s 99% sour mix and ice

    • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      dollaritas

      Damn, is that really a thing!? In this economy!? I wasn’t expecting this thread to actually talk me into Applebee’s.

      • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        lol you had me check and unfortunately the promotion ended with the introduction of their holliday specials. I kid you not though, there is a form to sign up for an alert when they bring them back. I feel like you need to have Allen Iverson levels of love for Applebees to do that.

        • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Follow-up question: Allen Iverson loves Applebee’s?

  • ArugulaZ@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Make America great again? Okay!

    (carpet bombs that Applebee’s)

  • nostlie
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    1 year ago

    Not enough obesity

    • synae[he/him]@lemmy.sdf.org
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      1 year ago

      The meth balances it out

  • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Idaho?

    • seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialOPM
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      1 year ago

      Jakson, MI

      • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        MI daho

        • monsterlynn@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          @TropicalDingdong MI own private Idaho.

          @seahorse @xantoxis

  • theodewere@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

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