In the Team Fortress lore, Shakespearacles, the strongest writer to ever live, invented rocket jumping. A few centuries later, Abraham Lincoln invented stairs. He died while rocket jumping up them.
He was also BLU team’s first Pyro
It’s well known that ancient dwarves enjoyed the practise of banging rocks together through the shins of the elves. One day, the rocks sparked against each other and set the elf ablaze, and that is how dwarves discovered fire. They loved fire, and used it to set many, many elves ablaze.
From that day, it took 30 years to invent cooking.
Unless you count roast elf
Too lean, not enough meat. Practically counts as a vegan diet. It makes sense that a species with shit taste would taste shit.
Dwarfish folding chairs are studded with gemstones and weigh about 500lbs.
They’re a very inventive people, but refuse to work with sheet metal.
Elves build lightweight folding chairs out of wood.
This is a steel folding chair. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with diamonds. It menaces with spikes of pigtail cloth. On the folding chair is an image of a dwarf and dwarves. The dwarf is making a plaintive gesture.
ImplyingImpcations felt satisfied after reading a comment
Folding chairs do seem a bit more of a gnomish contrivance.
Gnomes would make those folding fabric camping chairs with the cupholder in the arm
And also electric folding lawnchairs
Elves have fancy grass that won’t sully your clothes, and vice-versa.
In my setting I dropped darkvision for dwarves because I wanted to make it scarce, but even the dwarves that don’t study light or dancing lights use their many lighting inventions that were developed for underground exploration such as flairs and glow sticks, and gas lighting for their main settlements.
I also gave them all spiderclimb just because I like the way that fucks up how they’d build those settlements as down is only a necessary direction to know when you drop something, even their tankards work at all orientations and are basically sippy cups.
“Aye! I could drink to that!”
*bubbly sipping*
I absolutely love this change for dwarves. May I borrow it?
Oh yeah of course, if it’s for personal use, always take everything you like from anywhere, and if it’s for professional, I still think it’s cool to take ideas.
The only thing is that if this is for 5e, you may wanna drop something from their stats such as dwarven resilience as this trait is reasonably powerful as it’s effectively a hands free climbing speed which any marksman type character could cheese. One option is to make it the ability to cast spiderclimb at will, so it still has the limitations of requiring concentration (which is entertaining to imagine a dwarven bar brawl on the ceiling where everyone is knocking eachothers concentration out and falling to the floor, just to run back up) and it wouldn’t work in an antimagic field too.
dwarves with flares? by the beard! ROCK AND STONE!
Halflings definitely invented egg timers
They were the first culture to have accurate timekeeping just for cooking.
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They needed it, because the other half of their time is spent high, and they kept overcooking their eggs
They invented the 12 hour clock so they could have half a day without timekeeping so they didn’t need to work and could just wake and bake.
My setting has technology more-or-less equivalent to Earth’s 17th century, and a big chunk of my inspiration is Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle. The books detail the steps that led to the industrial revolution so my setting also has similar early tech, aided by magic of course.
(Airships, for example, use magic derived from Resilient Sphere to make their balloons supernaturally rigid and impermeable, then instead of filling it with a lifting gas they just evacuate all air from it. Their hulls look like solid wood but they are instead a honeycomb structure made of giant spider silk sandwiched between thin wooden veneers to keep the cold air out, and reinforced with the occasional mithral spar. The propulsion is purely magic though, the props are powered by aetherosiphon engines. There are some secret military projects aimed at creating a fully-pressurized heavier-than-air skyship that can actually fly over the taller mountain ranges; since their passenger compartment is not pressurized, a standard skyship’s maximal cruising altitude is 3-3.5 kilometers while a trained military crew can maybe get up to 4.5 km.)
Yeah, that sounds pretty on-brand!
Elves invented wooden folding chairs and then the dwarves made them from metal for better weapon usage.
“Oh tha’s nice. Good grip on the bottom, large top to hit with, large middle for deflection. Too bad ya made it out of this weak wood or it would be an excellent weapon!”
“That is a chair you brute! Was a chair. Now it’s fire wood…”
“Ya can sit on it too? Genius! Just needs a place to hold a drink and it could be perfect!”
“… That’s a good idea, actually…”
I am currently reading Cryptomancer, a game with crystals to do kind of Internet things.
Hmm…a certain author has elves running a car racing team, but that’s not an rpg.
I can just picture it now. A dwarven hell in a cell style match. Someone gets knocked back into an open chair in classic comedic WWE style and the whole crowd goes quiet. All you can hear is the collective thunk of thousands of chairs suddenly opening.
i’d like to see more settings where there is advanced tech, but non-humans just have a cultural aversion to them
dwarves that refuse to miniaturize things, gnomes that are open source absolutists, amish elves, halflings who don’t give a shit so long as they can repair things themselves, goblins who don’t really understand complex technology but will merrily fuck about with it until something cool happens, etc…
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Note: For anyone who cares, of course this person doesn’t have any evidence at all for this because none of it happen. They are however one of numerous alts of a known transphobe who has been banned from every major instance due to extreme hatred, bigotry, lying, and transphobia themselves.
Carry on about your day.
If you could link, that’d be good too so we can compare.
The comment below demonstrates that /u/Exocrinous is the exact same user as /u/DroneRights. Exo has linked to a post from DR where DR is getting angry at things I did to “them”. Yet the things that I did I all did to Exocrinous. So they’re openly proving that I’m right in saying that they’re an alternate account. If you want to look at reasons for why they were banned, I’d recommend looking up DroneRights in any mod log or just going to their community. They’ve, in some bizarre fit of insanity, set up a whole community where they repeatedly demonstrate that banning them was the best thing any instance ever could have done.
Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn’t work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: [email protected]
That doesn’t seem to work right, either.
It took me a second to realize but you cannot access it through lemmy.world as the creator of that community has been permanently banned from the instance.
LMAO, that’s amazing.
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You already linked that one DroneRights, but thanks.
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you have no idea how much worse that comment you linked makes you look
having a mental disorder doesn’t excuse you from being an asshole, stop wearing it like a badge of honour and get therapy
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I’m pretty sure narcissist isn’t a slur.
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If you can link something by them I can reconsider. (Not you, you’re in the conversation and we already know your opinion) I’ve just never heard it used like that.
I’m not being an asshole.
That’s for others to decide.
That link directs to a post from DroneRights saying that I called them a narcissist to their face. But I said that to you. An account you’re insisting isnt an alternate of DroneRights.
You can’t even keep your own story straight.
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Thats a fair point. You never insisted that you were a different person. That makes it insanely easy for me though. Thank you for openly admitting it so I can report this account to the admins of all those other instances and get this account also unilaterally banned for ban evasion.
Also I’m disabled lol
Byeeeeeeeeeeeee~
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FYI most people won’t even know that NPD is a thing (I didn’t until now), and will struggle to empathise with someone apparently being actively hostile. Everyone’s a dick on the internet, and that makes everyone think that everyone else is a dick too. Compiling a list of everyone that’s wronged you and pointing to it every time they say something will not make you happy and will turn people against you. Everyone (regardless of mental state) needs to realise that arguing on the internet just makes you more frustrated. Remember the old internet rule “don’t feed the trolls”; worry about real life people who matter, not faceless usernames who don’t.
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You can’t just accuse someone without proof
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I’ve never heard narcissist referred to as a slur before, til.
Because it isn’t one.
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No, I did not. I said you were banned for being a transphobic bigot. Also I’ve wasted more than enough time on you and your army of alts.
I have far better things to do than listen to the same person whine in 15 different voices, across three different communities, about how they’re so victimized while also outright lying, slandering people and harassing them on top of it.
Grow up.
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This is a meme about folding chairs; but keep pushing that boulder, Sisyphus.
