Restaurant? Library? Other? (Bonus points if its toxic people resistant)
Hobby? Most places have clubs for a lot of hobbies.
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I find it tricky to just meet people with no shared topic to discuss, like at parties. I love clubs because everyone is there for a shared reason, whether it be board games, video games, a sport, a craft, etc. This means there’s always something to talk about when breaking the ice and I find that much more comfortable. Highly recommend clubs
Linux club? O.O
Board game stores - go and enjoy some games with strangers.
Or Board game clubs/associations. About 30-50 people who all enjoy competitive or cooperative board and card games. See many of the same people each visit.
You could a niche interest that you can lean into and find established spaces that cater to said community. Like gardening? Attend workshops and presentations by your local native plant society. Know how to knit, or want to learn? Weekly Stitch & Bitch events are everywhere. Interested in history and know a bit of mechanics? Volunteer at a historic railroad nonprofit.
Hear me out, I go to a Unitarian Universalist church for the music and sense of community. There is no shared theology among UUs, only a set of shared values. UU services vary a lot by the specific congregation. Ours has had services on celebrating gender identities, promoting social justice, mourning global conflicts, and fighting climate change. Sometimes relevant theology from a variety of world religions is incorporated into services, but there is no expectation to be a believer and there are many atheist members in my church. The rest of the time we have potlucks, play board games, do community service projects, etc.
I have casually considered attending a UU church near us. They seem very chill based on their website.
I would have to overcome my dislike of meeting new people and being awake and fully clothed before 11:00am on a Sunday. Those are the main challenges for me, personally.
I’m hoping to attend some public events at the a local nature preserve as a way of easing into social events with strangers. They have programs on bird watching, mushroom cultivation, etc… A year’s membership cost $40 and it comes with free parking and free access to their programs. They’re also part of a larger network of nature parks, so benefits include free admission to any of those.
~50% of the time I attend virtually, because yeah it’s nice to sleep in on Sunday and make breakfast with the service on Zoom and camera off
Looks neat. Nothing outside the US?
(Free ayahuasca? jk!)
Honest and serious question: Do you get any underlying cultish vibes? Specifically, are there sub-groups that may take the overall concepts too far?
Just looking at the literature, it seems healthy. Spirituality can be separate and distinct from religion, so that is cool. My only concern is that of a “gateway”. A comparison would be how AA is “not religious” but it actually is with many different AA groups and it’s super subtle.
Just curious, s’all. I am sure others have similar questions.
Not OP, but UU is mostly hippies and people who love church but hate religion. I haven’t seen any cult-like vibes in the three UU churches I’ve been to. It’s pretty chill and a nice place to meet folks.
It probably depends heavily on the specific congregation. I haven’t seen those vibes personally though. In my experience nobody really bothers the people who just show up occasionally, except to be friendly at coffee hour. UU are very much about democracy and so the local make up of the congregation can take it in many directions. Try it out on zoom if they offer a hybrid attendance to see if it’s a good fit
I go to a similar church and I’ve honestly made such close friends there, we just call ourselves spiritual mutts and have a wide spectrum of beliefs. We are VERY loudly welcoming to LGBT folks, and even have one trans lady in our congregation. A local church of a similar demographic recently announced they were not LGBT affirming, and two thirds of the congregation up and left and came to us, absolutely shocked that this has happened, because they are not people who would tolerate that and has no idea the leaders occupied that position (the pastor of that church also resigned because of this stance). Honestly it’s one of the best things in my life, we do lots for the community and a ton of creative projects as well, including having summer artists in residence. It really can be so different from the shitty churches.
School. For me, community college.
Time to go back to school.
Immediately made me hear this song: https://youtu.be/hyMOZamxU0s
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Mine has hobby type classes from time to time where they teach you things like pottery or macrame. Good way to meet older women.
If one has children, their school is great place to get connected.
It’s easy. Just go to events in your community. Hang out at a restaurant or bar and socialize with people, go to the farmers market and ask the stall owners questions about their business. Say hi to people you recognize. Go to your local council meetings, or special festivals that are happening around town. Unfortunately you will find that nowhere is toxic people resistant, but just be friendly and chat with people you meet throughout the day, and you would be blown away at how far it will take you to establishing connections in your community.
Admittedly i live in a small college town in rural Ohio, but i always run into so many people that want to say hi to me, despite just being a college drop out who works a factory job. I even had the mayor’s wife personally invite me to her birthday party because i was her favorite server at the restaurant i work at. If you come across as a friendly person, people will want to be friends with you. I bake way more than i can eat, so i am constantly giving little treats to my favorite bartenders, waiters, friends, and co-workers.
I’ve had this same question a hundred times. Seems like a lot of people find a sense of community in church, but I’m non-religious and I haven’t found a replacement.
You could check out a Unitarian Church. They don’t have any specific creed or beliefs and welcome everyone, including humanists, atheists, etc.
That’s not a bad idea. There’s actually a Unitarian church about two miles from my house. Last time I drove by there was a MAGA across the street shouting into a bullhorn, so that should at least make it interesting.
It’s worth a shot. If nothing else, I’d imagine you’ll meet some interesting people.
sport
Bonus points if its toxic people resistant
Sadsacks don’t do sport; you tend to meet more high-energy, confident people.
Do you know what Toxic means
poisonous
Toxic people definitely do sport
Confidence and energy intimidates me. Where can I meet sadsacks?
