99% of my ideas for what to do with friends have to do with “we hang, but at a bar”.
I’ve started to consider suggesting aquarium trips, outdoor movie nights, etc, but then I decided it might be nice to chit chat about it with y’all because I wanna hear what y’all like. Especially things you didn’t expect to be as pleasant as they were but became a regular thing.
Boardgame bar ? Usually more fitted for discussion than usual bars
Walking and hiking are great healthy ways to have group chats. I can’t tell you how many hundreds of hours I’ve spent having good conversations while out and about. Rain and heavy wind is about the only thing that gets in the way of it. Works really great at night on a full moon too. Bonus if your friends really want to drink: walk and drink. Take a camera, coffee, a dog, a skateboard, binoculars, a radio scanner, a pwnagotchi, a flipper zero, Pokémon Go, an rc car, a drone, a map of little free libraries, a map of geocaches, etc., and you can always find little activities to do while you walk and talk. I’ve found soooo many cool hidden spots this way.
But yeah, only going to a bar sounds like a lot of potential fun is missing.
pwnagotchi
Never heard of that before. Cool.
I keep memberships to the zoo and the nature & science museum active because I like going to both with friends. Good way to get some exercise and do something different. That said, I didn’t start doing that until I was about 30 and was a few years removed from the bar scene, so I guess it depends on your age and your friend group.
I’m not crazy about drinking or bars. It’s just that I recently went sober, and I think that actively trying to avoid coming up with ideas that involve alcohol is making it ironically harder to think of ideas that don’t involve alcohol. Lol
I think museums are a great idea as a public, neutral space to hang.
I think aquariums tips, outdoor movies night, etc. sound like fun ideas. But one thing to keep in mind is how much of an “event” a hangout might be, and whether that might turn some people off.
It’s like the difference between planning for a beach trip with friends versus just taking a spontaneous dip in the pool with your friends on a hot day: one feels more effortful than the other. And the beach trip, or planned events, might be the more fun choice. But after a long week, etc. a lot of people just want to do something social but more chill and effortless. Just being able to enjoy the moment with their friends. Which might be part of the reason why bars are really attractive for that kind of thing. You just go out, grab a drink, chill with your buds, and go home to relax. No real structure, more just down time.
Again, not dismissing those ideas. Definitely good in moderation. But just chatting with a friend over lunch/dinner, at a cafe. Hang out at the park at the end of the day. Things of that nature and effort should also be important. Even if it feels small, it can be the nicest part of friendships.
When it’s not cold or otherwise gross out, hanging out in the park is nice. Tell people to bring a snack and hang out.
You can also go get food as a group. There are cheap places.
We don’t have enough “third places” in the US , maybe other parts of the world. Too much anti social rugged individualism I guess.
What’s your age? Me and my friends used to have that mindset when we were around 20. Things naturally changed from there.
The thing is that my partner and I have gone sober recently, and since I’m specifically thinking of this from the perspective of “I want to avoid alcohol”, it’s causing me to have a bit of a “don’t think about the polar bear” moment.
We’ve also begun opening our circle up a bit, and while I’m perfectly comfortable having good friends come over for whatever, it feels too intimate to invite folks you barely know over.
Most of the bars I’ve been to are really loud and it’s almost impossible to hear anyone talking to me, so I just invite my friends to my apartment. I spend less on alcohol that way too…
If I want to hang out while doing something, I suggest going to a restaurant because that’s an experience I can’t replicate at home. (I don’t cook very well.)
One problem that I forgot to mention is that I am a male who works with and meets a lot of women. I also tend to mesh better with women than men. However, even though I’m non-binary, if I meet a new person who is a woman, it feels a little too something-or-other to invite them into my home when we still don’t know each other that well. Bars are a neutral, public, casual space.
That’s a very good point. When I was younger, I was naive and thought I could invite women over the same way as I could invite men. I must have made most of them uncomfortable (and probably disappointed the ones who did come over).
It’s less weird if you have a group of people over, as long as everyone knows it’s a group thing. That’s my default (I find bars too loud for conversation)–board/party games and drinks are a great combo.
TopGolf? Food + drinks + grown up putt-putt. Concerts, if you have the same music tastes? Pick-up sports? Take up instruments. Jam. Get Really Good. Form a band. Go on tour. DND? LAN party? I don’t really have friends, but I imagine we’d do all of these things.
Top Golf, concerts, and sports is how I met each band member. Then, we started a DND streaming show; it’s a cute way to interact with the fans some more. We start doing Baldur’s Gate 3 LAN parties for our top subscribers.
Follow this path to victory.
Also, I can be your pen pal if you want friends.
Depending on where you are located, many activities have “with” alcohol options available. Sometimes starting at a place with drinks may allow you to ease into a second activity that does not. Like dinner before a movie. One option I like is bowling. Most bowling places serve drinks but you are kind of forced to be tentative to whose turn it is and some places will bring your food and drinks to you. Find a balance with people that drink cause unless everyone else goes sober you’ll always have to deal with it.
Axe throwing
There’s a place nearby that does that! It’s next to a comic book shop and Japanese grocery store. I remember their sign saying it’s only $15 for 30 minutes of axe throwing. Sounds like an awesome idea.
Escape rooms and VR experiences
If you live somewhere with a “food hall” place, that might capture the vibe of a bar in the sense that it’s communal and built around eating and drinking, but is more flexible than a coffee shop and more open ended than a restaurant. Those who still partake can do so, so you might see people drinking, but it won’t have that mild absurdity some folks can feel hanging out in a bar while not drinking.
