I guess it depends what you think they mean.

I take it as “we don’t know each other, I’m setting the tone as a formal and mutually respectful interaction.” In my mind, the formal part is important, it’s saying that we’re filling roles in this interaction and that sets bounds. We’re in for a financial/business transaction, so let’s be on our best behavior.

At one point it bugged me (for the reasons you suggest) but now I guess I’ve accepted the idea of interactions that are limited in scope.

If a server/waiter calls me sir, we’re talking about the meal, not shooting the shit. If I call someone sir/madam, I’m paying for their professional opinion, and I’ll do my best to be a cooperative client.

That’s an honorific, not a pronoun.

Nah, I look at it as equalizing. Everyone is deserving of the respect and deference once reserved for only the ruling classes.

Until you know a person well enough to use casual address, or they state a preference, treat them with formal respect.

There are situations where starting casual is just fine because the default is that you’re supposed to start out relaxed. Most forums are like that.

Comrade has too many historic abuses weighing it down currently. Maybe in another fifty to a hundred years it could come back without the specter of the bullshit from the past.

But, my homie, I respect preferences in address so long as they aren’t abusive. Don’t ask me to call you “my lord” if you aren’t willing to use the same “tier” of address. Sir and ma’am are mostly universal now. It isn’t restricted to bosses, it isn’t limited to whites, or adults or a given age bracket, or much of anything else. There are still ghosts of classism to it within management structures, and those need to be toppled unless management is willing to equalize things by defaulting to the same address that’s used towards them.

But me and you coming up on a door, and I open it for you with an “after you, sir” is me addressing an equal with formality. Formality is not a bad thing when it’s egalitarian. But, if you said “man, I get uncomfortable with being called sir”, basic human respect and decency compels me to make strong effort to avoid that term for you afterwards.

For non formal situations where a name isn’t appropriate, I do very much love homie. It comes from home boy/girl. The meaning behind that is complicated, but I find that it engenders mutual openness to friendly interaction until it becomes untenable.

Also, the term isn’t pronoun, it’s honorific. You’re giving honor to the person.

But you’re right, formality in address does put a border between people. It’s supposed to. It gives structure to interactions with unfamiliar people. That’s a good thing. People in general actually end up resenting familiarity from strangers and recent acquaintances. Again, if a company/management isn’t applying it to workers as well, that’s the problem, not the formality itself.

That being said, there was a post recently about the problem with honorifics and non binary gender. We don’t have a good honorific for people that aren’t at the ends of the binary. Comrade would be great, as it has the requisite formality, but it’s tainted by decades of bad communism. You can’t expect people to disassociate it from the baggage of the USSR. It is directly associated with not just communism, but that specific toxic version of it. Nobody at large is going to take it well.

It just makes me think the person has been watching too much television from the US or UK.

I can’t really say. If someone ever addresses me that way I will think on it.

None of these words are pronouns. Theyre honourifics. There are no “communist” pronouns.

No because if I use these words its because the person Im speaking to deserves my formal respect. I make that choice. And my assumption is whoever uses those words decides I deserve their formal respect as well.

I applaud you for taking time to think about this. Most people never do.

Your interpretation is just that: an interpretation. You could change it, if you wanted to. Not easily, but with enough repetition, you might notice your intuitive feelings changing.

First, I see formality and respect as different things. I address people formally until I understand more about how they view out relationship. When it’s someone at a hotel check-in desk or a taxi driver, the relationship might be so brief that formality is good enough and never changes. I mostly assume that other people address me formally because they were taught something similar. Not distance or power over, but merely convenience and a sensible default form of address.

Respect, however, is much more intricate and complex. 😉 I sometimes show respect to authority, I sometimes show respect to people I don’t know, and I often show respect as a form of affection. For me, respect doesn’t have to mean distance. They are completely independent for me. I suspect that most people are taught to show respect when I would only show formality.

Like I said, most people don’t think about this stuff. They have more urgent things to do. They merely do as they were taught and if it works well enough, that’s all they need.

Formality is a question of convenience (I don’t know your name) and safety (you probably expect it, so it’s a sensible default mode) for me. Respect is a question of esteem and sometimes I show respect with distance and sometimes I show respect with affection.

I don’t demand respect when I’m in a position of authority. I expect respect based on credibility from my actions and not my title.

All this means that I don’t mind hearing “sir”. I can tell myself a story about why someone’s calling me that which doesn’t imply power over. And not all distance is a bad thing.

I also wouldn’t mind hearing “homie”, although I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying it back. I’m not used to it and I would be worried about how others would react to hearing it from me, an old white dude. Even if you told me it was cool, I probably wouldn’t do it, mostly because I’m not used to it. I could probably be talked into it when address people I trust not to judge me for it.

I hope something in here helps. Peace.