When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We’re talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it’s stuck with me into my adult years.
These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they’ve given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.
Any suggestions that would be more helpful?
Bullies are part of a cycle of abuse. They belittle others so they themselves can feel less pathetic. The strategy my mom taught me is to be untouchable. Don’t give them the satisfaction of getting under your skin. Shrug, chuckle, and genuinely forget about them. They’re insignificant. No need to butt heads. It also an effective strategy for road rage. You can’t lose if you’re not playing the game. You can even make them think they won. Some of these assholes genuinely get furious at unwavering positivity.
I’d say I’m like this maybe 80% of the time but I will say that if you didn’t learn this lesson early on, it is an incredibly difficult habit to break.
a thumbs up and a wave before pretending to be shocked is best. They’ll be shitting themselves thinking they just flipped off someone they know.