Firefox’s Enhanced Tracking Protection (Strict Mode) is known to cause issues on x.com
There were no “issues”; everything was working completely fine. This is a deliberate decision to force people to turn off tracking protection.
I saw a recommendation to use Firefox’s container extension https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/containers, but it’s disabled in private browsing windows, and I always use private browsing windows.
I agree with everything you say here, but I thought the setup-payoff joke structure and the fact I intentionally swapped testing and production for comedic effect made it obvious enough. I guess Poe’s law strikes again.