• Fuck spez
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    6 months ago

    I took LSD, DMT, and weed one night several years ago. This was near the end of my experimentation phase with psychedelics before I finally came to my senses and chilled out so we’re talking heroic-level dosing, too. While peaking on something like 880μg, I smoked some weed to intentionally send the acid into overdrive and then took a couple big hits off a DMT vape.

    Instant ego death.

    At first I was just in awe of what I was seeing and experiencing, but soon I realized that I could no longer talk or even think linguistically. Language completely fails at some point when you’re that far gone but I was too far gone to remember that fact, let alone comprehend it enough for it to calm me down. I didn’t even know what I was, let alone who. I had a sense that I was a being of some sort who had once been able to communicate but I didn’t understand why I couldn’t anymore. Panic set in. Part of me was still dimly aware that I had taken something or at least done something to myself, even if I didn’t understand it was the cause of what was basically a temporary psychotic break, so I came to the conclusion that I had erased my brain like a hard drive that doesn’t even have an operating system anymore and that I would have to re-learn everything from scratch.

    When I came down enough to find (and be able to use) my phone, I called a friend to come meet me at 3am (true bro) so that the re-education could begin immediately. By the time he got there, though, I realized that I couldn’t have wiped my memory since I remembered my friend and that I was, in fact, a fucking idiot. We had a good laugh and I decided to take it easy with the drugs after that.