Xpost from casual conversations. Delete if it doesn’t fit.

In the final stages of moving from the deep south to a northern state.

I used to run a shop under a corporation. Long story, but I integrated the shop, and built something beautiful. I had to use a temp service to do a lot of my hiring, I hired lots of black folks because they were undervalued and I could give them a good environment and pay. Was just starting to hire women. COVID and Qanon blew it the fuck up.

Tomorrow I’ll be having lunch with two of my former crew. One of them is the only man I’ve ever called brother. He was my neighbor and best friend for years. I would have trusted him to help me hide a body. The other feller was a kind and gentle guy, had a bad divorce but was a teddy bear, was on the road back up.

They both went down the rabbit hole real bad.

I miss who they were and the shop we had. It was fucking jazz. I protected all of them from corporate. We made shit happen. I fought to get them more money and got fucked over myself.

I’ve lost my parents, my grandfather, my aunts and uncles and cousins to the insanity. Thank jeebus my grandmothers and one grandfather are dead.

Tomorrow I’m going to hug my brother and tell him goodbye. He isn’t really my brother anymore. I don’t trust him. I love him. He’s not the man I knew.

It hurts a lot. It broke my heart.

  • Varyk
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    5 months ago

    It’s good you’re making the move, I hope things work out up north.

    I had the same situation with some family. Rabbit hole.

    They’re not over it yet.

    • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      I don’t think they’ll ever get over it. It would give me such joy if they did come back, but I doubt they will.

      • Varyk
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        5 months ago

        I’m of the same mind, it’ll either take decades of hindsight or a major medical emergency for any sort of rational dialogue to resume.

  • flappy@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    He’s not the man I knew.

    One thing I noticed about myself is that you tend to not present yourself in the best light, while you’re in the midst of an existential crisis.

  • tburkhol@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I see a lot of workplace horror stories on social media, but my best and closest friendships formed through work. A crew of good people can do just amazing things and be a source of pride that absolutely can’t be replicated solo. Almost indescribable.

    But that focus on work can hide some flaws and conflicts, even during downtime. It can feel like betrayal, and definitely enormously disappointing when those come out. And who knows, maybe, if one had been there at the right time, been supportive in the right way, then that slide down the rabbit hole could have been stopped, so there can be some guilt, too.

    Glory days, man. Don’t be sad that they’re passed, be glad that you had the chance.

    • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      Yeah. For a while it was something amazing and I got to run it. It really was magic, made that corporation millions. I learned a lot during it. Also learned that I’m done managing.

      Done consulting as well, I think. Done with most people.

      I’m going to build a small shop. Either my son can work with me, if he decides he likes it, or I can hire a helper.

  • GhostedIC
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    5 months ago

    You’re glad your grandparents are dead, are you sure you’re not the crazy, untrustworthy one?

    • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      Pretty sure that I’m not one of the pod people. This is the text I sent my wife after my former best friend just left:

      Holy fuck. Joe has some sort of grandpa weed that he he’d be saving. I hit once and I’m all fucked up. They smoked a whole blunt. Then I learned about how taking ivermectin was a good preventative and that Susan is actually a Mayan priestess discovered through astral projection."

      Like fucking for real. That shit and more just fucking hapoend. And this shit is normal now. They like recreationally or religiously, not sure which, regularly take ivermectin. No shit, not a joke, honest to fucking god, not a meme, people I know and love are doing this shit and I can’t stop it.

      And it’s not the first time I’ve witnessed it. I’ve been around ivermectin since I was a kid. Lots of critters need ivermectin and so do you if have the worms. But now people are taking it for their health.

      Yes, I’m glad my grandparents are dead. They were better than this. I’m absolutely fucked up over my surviving grandfather. He spews this shit now. I had never heard him cuss untill sometime in 2022, then he started saying, “removed.”

      Probably left the boundaries of a casual conversation here. Sorry.