At 27, I’ve settled into a comfortable coexistence with my suicidality. We’ve made peace, or at least a temporary accord negotiated by therapy and medication. It’s still hard sometimes, but not as hard as you might think. What makes it harder is being unable to talk about it freely: the weightiness of the confession, the impossibility of explaining that it both is and isn’t as serious as it sounds. I don’t always want to be alive. Yes, I mean it. No, you shouldn’t be afraid for me. No, I’m not in danger of killing myself right now. Yes, I really mean it.
How do you explain that?
Thank you so much for sharing this. As somebody with a similar mindset it’s been very difficult to explain this to people, even my therapist. I’m going to send this around to my loved ones and hopefully open up a conversation.
I mean your therapist should absolutely know what passive suicidal ideation is