So, I happen to be a king near the Mediterranean (not telling where bc I don’t wannna doxx myself), and the other day a messanger ran into my palace shouting “the sea people are coming!”.
I told him that there can’t be ‘sea people’ because people live on land and not in the sea, but he kept insisting that there are ‘sea people’ and they’re coming, so I had him drowned to prove that people living in the sea is impossible.
Now all kids in the city are talking about ‘sea people’ and it’s driving me nuts. I hope this trend goes away soon.
Don’t worry, I just sacrificed a nice bull, in hopes of stopping this new cringy trend by the youths
I did my research, bulls do not work! You should be using virgins instead!!!
What about a virgin calf?
We prefer the whole creature and not just a portion of the lower leg.
A calf? Next you’ll suggest the vegan option?? Herb burners like yourself have no regard to tredition
Damn it! I’ve been foiled!!
And if not virgins, all that’s left as a possibility is kings
Delete this comment right now.
Just keep killing everybody who mentions any problems. That’s sure to make them go away.
Yeah, I’ve already ordered new torture methods to be invented.
I wrote a letter to my uncle a couple cities over asking him if he’s ever heard of those sea peoples. He must not have, because he never wrote me back.
It’s a very fringe theory, but at least one evolutionary biologist believes we came from the sea.
This sorcerer should be put to death immediately. She clearly communes with the Underworld.
A whationary whatalogist?
Beats me, but apparently they’re an evil one. I’ll start handing out torches and pitchforks.
The Fomorians are eternal and cannot just be wished away. Now prepare your first born as tribute lest we come spoiling.
Too late. We comin’
No amount of chariots will save you now.
Just hire them as mercenaries like the Pharaoh did. Problem solved.
I don’t know. The latest polling numbers show a swing away from the nationalist Pharaoh - Ra coalition to the pro-immigration Hyksos party.
Don’t knock it. They’re small so they’re hard to spot, but they’ll build shrines to you.
