The other day Marcus told me that there are Christians gathering at Titus’ house at night - apparently these godless deviants are having incestuous orgies. What’s next, child sacrifice? Cannibalism? Caesar really needs to put them in their place before they get out of hand.
Write a letter to your governor - when it happened in my province, he arrived post haste to set them straight. Some of the so-called Christians repudiated their false god, and the rest were imprisoned, and since then, all but three of them have also repudiated him. Those three speak of being ‘martyrs’, but the families of the rest are incredibly grateful to the governor for making them see sense, and have organised a sacrifice and a feast in celebration!