Everyone I know, even more “progressive” people, treat me like a damn alien for not prioritizing getting a new car since mine died over covid.

Why does nobody blink an eye at this habit people have of just… Sitting in their car in the driveway? Its not on, there’s no music, they aren’t leaving - they’re just sitting there for an hour or more. I see it fairly often, but if I mention it being odd people look at me like I’m dumb. Are we really THAT car centric now that it’s this normalized to be like “fuck my living room, fuck my TV, fuck my couch, I just wanna sit in my car all day?”

  • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    I’ll sit in my car for 5 to ten minutes after a hard, stressful day at work to decompress in silence before entering home, but that’s mostly because I want to be joyous and loving to my boyfriend who’s waiting for me instead of cranky, not because I enjoy car.

    Do people really chill in their cars for an hour? That seems wild.

    • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
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      I live in a small maritime town and ya people do that. They bring their car to the parking lot and line up and just sit there. Sometimes they talk to the people next to them or a friend.

      • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        Okay yanno I see that at the park and by the lake. Folks park, go for a walk, then hang out in the car and chat or nap.

        I’m guessing they’re doing that since it’s a free place to be and the car offers some privacy. That makes a bit more sense to me than sitting in your own driveway for an hour.

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        I was reading, thinking “this is definitely New Brunswick” before recognizing your username :P

        I’m originally from Bathurst, hotboxing a Honda Civic in the McDonald’s parking lot was essentially a rite of passage.

        Sidenote: the culture of driving stoned and/or drunk is so crazy prevalent around here. I was pretty reckless as a teenager, thankfully I now know better but a lot of people I knew back then never grew out of it.

        • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
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          Ayyy recognize ya too! Haha it’s wild the culture here for that. I’m originally from Ontario so this whole thing was new to me

    • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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      Where I live I see multiple people who will sit in their cars for multiple hours, I was just being generous with the “one hour.” Lol

      Ive been doing yard work for probably about 2, and there’s a dude whose just been sitting there the whole time in his driveway, which prompted the post. I see it often enough to call it a thing though, definitely. I go for a walk most days and sometimes I’ll just double back, and see someone still in their car 30-45 minutes later.

      To be clear, I totally get taking a few when you get home or something. Really wouldn’t bat an eye at 15 minutes regardless. An hour or more though, yeah sorry thats weird and no amount of normalization is going to change my mind. I’m so tired of people trying to tell me people aren’t fucking weird about their cars 🤣

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    I mean if you think of a car as a personal privacy pod, many people don’t have those inside their homes. I remember seeing this a lot on our walks during covid. I think some people needed a private place for a phone call or just needed to get away from their family for an hour or so when there was literally nowhere else to go.

    Hate cars all you want, but this is hardly indicative of car culture.

    • delirious_owl@discuss.online
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      Lol wut. Cars are surveillance pods.

      They’re internet-connected and full of microphone, cameras, and other sensor. Its less private than a public bus.

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    I see this a lot too. Based on where I live, I’ve assumed it’s bc there are too many people living in the house and they need some peace and quiet and/or talk on the phone in private. It’s common to see 6+ cars in front of 3 bedroom houses here, housing prices being what they are.

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    I can understand it.
    There are hardly any places left outside your home where you can simply exist without spending money.

  • peanuts4life@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    To be fair, my old Corolla is comfortable, with adjustable seats, climate control, and a sound system. It’s a little mobile room that society requires I own, I might as well enjoy it. I’ll spend 10 to 15 minutes sometimes after work just watching videos on my phone before / after going home.

    My partner and and I will sometimes sit talking in their Prius for a long time after reaching a destination.

  • sodalite@slrpnk.net
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    from people I’ve talked to who do that (and me) it’s usually to get away from other people before going inside somewhere. like the husband who chills in his car to avoid the wife, or the son who doesn’t wanna go in to deal with the dad yet.

    the car is a portable bubble, an escape, your own little contained environment in which you can exercise some form of control. a mini home away from home for some.

    • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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      If you have to sit in your car for 3 hours to avoid your wife, you need a divorce. 🤣

      Same with any other situation, if you have to live in your car you need to change your living situation.

      • Annoyed_🦀 @monyet.cc
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        Not many people sit for 3 hours, but many sit for maybe half hour. you’re exaggerating stuff.

        And no, not many people can “change their living situation” with a snap of their finger either, because they’re mostly trapped in that situation unwillingly, whether physically or mentally. That’s why they chose escapism in some shape or form, and doomscrolling in their quiet car after a long day is one of em.

        Yes, it’s unhealthy but laughing at them as if you’re superior helps no one and only makes people resent this community more. This community shouldn’t be that literal.

        • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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          I’m going to ignore you now for your bad faith arguments. You don’t know my experiences, or the behavior of people in my area.

          I think its weird and unhealthy, coping mechanism or not, and I refuse to pretend it isn’t to make people comfortable. Check out exercise or therapy.

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            You’re the one being bad faith all over this post. But anyways, what I really wanted to comment is that it might be a unhealthy coping mechanism, but oftentimes it is the only one people have. Specially in the context of the US, people can’t afford mental health care and a lot of people are overworked to the point they don’t have any energy left to exercise. Just let them have their private alone time, you’re a weirdo commenting on other’s habits while displaying absolutely zero empathy to other’s struggles.

            • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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              I’m commenting on weird car habits in a “fuck cars” community, lines up pretty well if you ask me. Are you sure you’re in the right community? I’m sure there’s plenty of pro-car communities on Lemmy for you where you can enjoy discussing centering your life around your automobile over your home.

              You claim I have zero empathy but you’re the one arguing “fuck healthy or productive coping mechanisms living your life in your car is just as good and fuck you for saying that people should seek better options.” GTFO with that nonsense.

              • dustyData@lemmy.world
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                Nice strawmans. You are really good at constructing them. I’m against cars, but I fight against the culprits, oil and manufacturing companies and corrupt politicians who run car centric policies under billionaires lobbying. I don’t attack people who are forced into a lifestyle that leaves them no healthy avenues for mental health or that deprives them of healthier life choices. Yours is the logic that criminalize the homeless for sleeping in their cars in a public parking lot. You get out with your twisted logic. This is not about being cruel to the people forced to depend on cars, it is against the system that forces us all into that unhealthy lifestyle.

      • sodalite@slrpnk.net
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        yeah, they do. unfortunately a lot of people are stuck in situations not easily got out of… that’s why they escape to their car…

  • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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    Are we really THAT car centric now that it’s this normalized to be like “fuck my living room, fuck my TV, fuck my couch, I just wanna sit in my car all day?”

    Yes … that’s the problem.

    To be fair though, I imagine there’s a lot of people just enjoying their own mobile private space away from others. But yea, this is the problem, we’ve dedicated so much of our city’s space to cars and roads, that the car can be kinda all we have left. And then it’s infectious. Sure it might be nice to hang out in your mobile space near a park or the beach … but then there’s a car park for all of the cars … taking up space which could just be more park land or beach front.

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    My wife does this, and it drives me crazy. She’ll come back from running an errand, then when she pulls in the driveway, her notifications will go off (because she’s now connected to wifi). She will sit in the car… on her phone… for at least a half hour until I finally remind her that the dog is barking her head off while she sits in the driveway…

    I’m the opposite. If I do have to drive, I want out of that damn thing ASAP. I find no pleasure sitting in a metal cage for no apparent reason.

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    I’ll drive slower on my way home if there’s a good song playing. Just sitting there seems weird. What’s up with all the people recording themselves on video while sitting in their car?

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    I have never experienced this lol I’ve sat in my car for like 20 minutes when I had to eat lunch in the car before but that’s about it.

    I’ve never seen anyone just sit motionless in their car for an hour before though… Maybe that’s a regional thing?

    • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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      Thats possible I reckon. I live in a fairly conservative Bible belt “city” so I’m used to being surrounded by all the things I find insane, counter productive, etc 🤣

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    I can’t say that I see this a lot but I can tell you why I and others I’ve spoken to do it. I’ll leave you to ponder and extrapolate reasons.

    .

    It’s quiet.

    .

    No other humans are talking to or at you.

    .

    Quiet = bliss.

    • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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      If you have to spend 3 hours a day in your car to avoid people, you need to speak to a professional.

      • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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        Therapy is expensive, time consuming and tragically filled with social stigmas. People are coping with the thing they already own in the only way they know how.

        • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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          That doesn’t make it healthy. As someone who is hyper isolated due to living on a pension, it only compounds itself.

      • zephorah@lemm.ee
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        3 hrs is a lot. I think my top time was 30min. Still. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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    I see that a lot when I walk to the local park. People will be sitting in their cars just chillin, windows closed, and parked right next to a set of park benches on a nice, clear day.

    • Facebones@reddthat.comOP
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      Thats super popular at the Greenway parking lot near me, but honestly where its at I always assume “drug deals.”

      It doesn’t bother me but it makes me laugh when I walk by lol.

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    I’ve caught my wife doing this on numerous occasions. The typical scenario is we’ll meet after work someplace for dinner. I’m on my bike and she’s driving. So we head home separately and she arrives first. But as I’m putting the bike away, I see a light turning on behind me and it’s her climbing out of the car.

    I’ve seen this also at fast food parking lots and it puzzles me even more. There’s a guy just sitting there not eating or doing anything. Did he eat already? Was he not hungry and but his partner was so he’s just waiting for them?

    Last time I saw one of these guys as I was entering the restaurant. I ate my lunch and sat around for maybe 20 min because I prefer not to cycle again immediately after eating. Then I come out and the dude is still there, staring off into space.

      • tunetardis@lemmy.ca
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        Heh yeah. I’ve asked her on a few occasions and she looks embarrassed and gives me a different answer every time. I figure she just needs a moment and so I’ve stopped prying.

        • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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          Huh hoh, she’s having an affair with the car. You should have seen the red flag

          Sorry I thought this was reddit