background: staying in a roadside motel in the US. Man and Woman in the next room are screaming at each other. 1:30 in the morning. Not my problem.
But I did get voyeuristic and plant my ear on the wall. Most I could comprehend was “your daughter, but what about MY daughter?” from the woman. That’s what I thought I heard.
I was like, if I am certain I can tell that someone is beating on someone, and trying to kill them, or you know just violence is happening, then I’ll call 911. but I was far from certain. all i could discern was crying and screaming.
Hour later, someone is pounding on my door. is it someone in distress? I am in the least accessible and least desirable room in the place. It’s probably one of those two neighbors, but which one?
Anyways, I’m in the US, so I have one or more guns, but I don’t keep them loaded or accessible. by the time I had something ready, I think the neighbors were about to pass out. they currently are quiet after hours of screaming.
So I’m not a fan of cops, but not entirely against them. Situations in which I did call the cops:
-Neighbors were screaming at each other, 3 a.m.; their 6-year-old girl was out in the street crying.
-I heard broken glass and looked out the window, and saw a pair of big man’s boots going into what I thought was a single woman’s apartment.
For what it’s worth, I work in 911 dispatch, so I’ve heard pretty much every reason someone could call the police, some good, some not so good, and there’s always weird exceptions or edge cases where a situation that I normally wouldn’t personally think warrants police involvement can get tipped over the edge (regardless of whether I think they’re needed or not, if someone calls asking for police, I’m dispatching them, if the cops want to ignore the call, that can be on them)
My general rule for fights/domestics, is I’ll call for situations that are or look/sound like they’re about to become physically violent, neighbors yelling at each other next door-not my problem. If I start hearing them throwing things around, I start hearing mention of weapons, they’re suddenly out in the street, etc. then I’ll call.
I’ll also call when it’s just a verbal argument in a situation where that sort of behavior is totally uncalled for, like an irate customer yelling and screaming in a store, manager is asking them to leave and they’re refusing.
Or if I witness a crime where the victim is a person, small business, or public property.
Situations where a person is or might be in significant danger or distress.
Reckless drivers if they’re really excessive, not your run of the mill bad driver or asshole speeding and running shop signs, you need to be a couple notches worse than that- swerving all over the road, or speeding to a ridiculous degree.
Certain road obstructions and other traffic hazards.
When in doubt, I say err on the side of calling. Take a deep breath, keep a level head, stick to the facts, and answer the dispatcher’s questions, and please, for the love of God don’t start your call off with anything like “well I guess it’s not really an emergency but…” that’s basically our “it didn’t scan, so it must be free” and don’t apologize repeatedly for calling, if you feel bad about tying up an emergency line, all of that apologizing just makes the call longer which means you’re just tying up the line even more.
The situation is different from one area to another, but overall a lot of places have moved to a sort of central dispatch model, more or less everything is going to go through the 911 center and very little gets dispatched from your local police station. In a lot of places, even if you call the non emergency number there’s a good chance it’s coming to us, and if it does go to someone at the station there’s a good chance they’re going to transfer you to us, or just take the information and call us after you hang up. In most cases I’d prefer you just called 911 and cut out the middle man, especially if you don’t know exactly where you are so I at least have a landline address or cellular location to work with. The station can handle administrative things, getting a copy of a report you already filed, answering general questions, lost & found, etc. but if you need a cop to do something, even if it’s just give you a phone call, that’s probably going to come through us.
In your situation, I probably would have called when someone was banging on your door. That kind of tells me that the situation was out of hand and was potentially even presenting a threat to yourself. You seem to understand that as well since you went for your gun. If there’s a situation where you think you may need to defend yourself and you have the time to do so, you should probably be calling 911.
I probably also would have called the front desk about the yelling. Cops may not care about your noise complaints, but the hotel probably has their own noise rules, and if the guests are breaking them, management can have them trespassed, and the cops will care a bit more about that.
Final thoughts, since I’m somewhat on the inside, I have a pretty good handle on the overall attitude of the cops in my county. Overall, I trust them not to show up and shoot someone having a psych episode, or be too unreasonably racist, or otherwise do something that’s going to end up on the news in a bad way. Certain officers/departments I trust more than others, and I’d be more or less willing to call about minor issues based on that. In a situation where I don’t know the local cops I’d err more on the side of not calling. My overall guidance of “if your not sure, call” still applies through.
i appreciate the detailed perspective. seems like the consensus is it’s very location-sensitive whether to call the cops on a given situation. i don’t know any of the emergency people around here. I know the County Sheriff is a politically active goofo who loves to be on TV wearing a giant hat. but i’m in the boundary of one small city or another.
I might call the non-emergency line for things, like if my car was stolen or house broken into. I think the only time I’d call the emergency line is if I felt actively in danger.
Calling the police is a lot like firearm training, never call them on something you don’t intend to kill.
Have you ever actually called a non-emergency line?
It’s usually just a phone tree telling you what part of the city’s website to go to. If you’re lucky enough to talk to a real person, the moment you start telling OP’s story, they will tell you to hang up and call 911 if you think there’s an emergency.
The non-emergency line isn’t 911-lite - don’t call it because you don’t know if the situation is an emergency or not…
Ours is not like that. Non emergency gets you to an officer or dispatch, they take the info and your info. In the handful of times we called they have shown up within reasonable time for non-emerge call.
I’d’ve called the front desk when they were screaming at each other in the room. The front desk handles this sort of thing more than you and would have a better feel as to whether (for example) these are regular customers, how the local cops react, whether this is a normal or irregular occurrence for the area, etc. If the front desk or the cops had then stopped by the room with a noise complaint, that may have interrupted the disagreement enough that it may not have escalated later on. If they didn’t stop by with a noise complaint, I very likely would have done the standard ‘banging on the wall to get them to shut up’ thing, which may have had the same effect (I have trouble sleeping and this nose would’ve made me very irritable). I don’t know if I’d’ve opened my hotel room door, but I’d’ve at least looked out the peephole to assess the situation - and I’d’ve double-checked the lock and chain on the door during the first argument.
If you’re in the US, should probably avoid it like the plague tbh. They have the proven capacity to make any situation infinitely worse.
When you call the cops you’re calling people who can kill you with impunity and get a paid vacation for doing so. Just say no to calling the cops.
The police are typically just there to point guns, so I’d only call if I thought a gun was useful, which is extremely rare.
e: I’m answering from the USA
but
I would absolutely change that stance if we took guns away from cops and stopped giving them military training. Especially if they had a social worker / deescalation force that was more likely to be sent.
My city actually has surprisingly decent cops. They regularly train with the county social workers for conflict de-escalation and dealing with neurodivergent individuals. So I’m normally not too hesitant to call them. I’ve had to call them for various instances minor and otherwise and they have always conducted themselves very well. However if you go one town over the cops are known for being maladjusted shitbags that will use every opportunity they have to exert their power over someone. So if I’m in their jusrisdiction then I will never call the cops unless it is literally life or death. So it really depends on where I am.
I was once calling the police because there was a guy screaming loudly in front of my apartment building.
He was not threatening, just really confused, was obviously looking for his home, I had the impression he was autistic or on some kind of spectrum and it was below -5C - cold enough that it’s really dangerous to fall asleep outside.
I called the police because I thought he just needed help and someone to look after him to take him home.
Yes, I do trust police in my country.
there are police in the US who would respond in this way. they’re actually prevalent. we just have some way fucked up laws and precedents and a lot of dickheads.
From what I can see from an EU perspective: The training you get to become an officer in the US seems to vary a lot between places. That explains lot of differences.
Also it’s quite short IMO. Here in Germany it takes 2 1/2 years to become a policeman, 6 Months of these as a trainee. And still we have a number of problems.
edit: not sure why i went there, but german cops are less bad than US cops. maybe
yeah not relevant, but I ran into trouble with the transit cops in Berlin or Munich in the late hours once. I forget. I hadn’t bought a ticket, but I just got on the train. it took at least three cops to sternly issue me a ticket.
I’d call the cops on the noise alone. Its their job to decide whether to, and how to intervene. Of course, the police in my country aren’t trigger happy morons, so that does change it a bit.
yeah the noise is not enough. it’s literally not a crime in this area and therefore not the interest of police.
personally i’m inured to the idea of people screaming at each other. don’t like it, don’t care. I don’t think it really hurts anybody outside of the screaming people. is that a crime in some places?
It violates noise laws where I live. I have called the police because my neighbours were having drunken, obscenity filled screaming matches on their driveway at 3 am. The police have come and told them to knock it the fuck off or they will drag one of them off the jail each time. They haven’t done it outside where they can disturb their neighbours, we are far from the closest, since the third or fourth time I did that.
Not sure what the exact law is, but there are noise restrictions after 10pm in my area. So not just domestics, lawnmowers, reving car engines, drumkits etc are all prohibited. Its at the polices discretion to how they handle it, whenever I have called it in, usually the cops tell them to be quiet, and that theyll swing by a bit later to make sure its peaceful.
I never call the cops, ever.
I might call the front desk early on and say im thinking of calling the police.
If I need to file a police report for the place that I am working I’ll call the non emergency line.
Other than that, I don’t call the police. I’m not trying to make any situation worse than it already is.
Ask yourself if you’d be ok with someone dying in the situation, because that’s the only thing cops are good for
That’s actually a good barometer.
If it’s a thing where it’s potentially violent, like a guy with a bat smashing up parked cars, call the police.
A crazy man talking about how the Lizard men have taken his stereo, I’m calling the non-emergency number or ask 911 to send behavioral specialists.
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I call when i hear gunshots.
I’d probably call if it sounded like a fight. Things being thrown, loud banging noises, etc.
but I don’t keep them loaded or accessible. by the time I had something ready,
Heads up, you’ve just found a huge flaw in your security. You should have something loaded and accessible, especially somewhere like a strange roadside motel in the US. If you have kids that presents an extra challenge, because of course you have to keep it away from them, and that means on your person (not off body carry, on body, good holster preferably concealed, or with active retention) or in a quick access safe (which is fairly unrealistic in a motel).
If you needed it in that moment (and thankfully you ended up not needing it of course), you did not have it in that moment. You admittedly didn’t “have” it until the moment passed, which had there been a deadly threat or threat of great bodily injury (the definition of “need gun”), you would have been unprepared for it and perhaps fallen victim, or been unable to help protect the victim.
If you want specific advice relating to the topic of carrying/self defense I’d be happy to answer any questions I can. I’m not an expert, but I’m not a novice either, if you’re familiar with Elder Scrolls skill levels let’s call me a Journeyman lol. I just want people to stay safe and be prepared, god forbid you ever need it but if you do you want to be ready (and safe, of course).
Slow down there - you’re making some rather large assumptions about why they have guns. Sure, some people have guns for “self defense” (some for valid reasons, others because racism). Others have them for hunting. Sometimes they’re inherited and have sentimental value.
Edit: Also, kids aren’t the only reason not to keep them loaded. Keeping guns and ammo separately secured introduces enough of a delay to reduce the risk of suicide, for example.
yeah as a profligate alcoholic and terminally depressed person, i’m not hanging out with loaded guns. i’ve been trained to use them, been familiar with them for decades. also i’m just clumsy. i don’t have a military background, I know i can hit a target at a couple hundred yards with an M4, but that ancient Old Reliable .38 with no safety scares me.
i’m just not interested in killing anybody. i’m well-versed in crazy experiences, from inner city New Orleans to Sonora Desert meth heads or the average lunatic in Louisville. I am better off for not being prepared with a loaded gun many many times, because I definitely would have shot many different people.
Well, if that was your response I’m inclined to agree. “Safely” was a big part of what I said earlier and tbh you don’t sound super safe if you’d have “shot many different people.”
i’m a grownass middleaged dude who’s never shot anyone, just been very cautious and seen a lot of weird shit while enduring some mental health shit throughout. and i have a lifelong exposure to guns. I think I’ve been quite safe. if you don’t think i’m safe, then you absolutely should not be encouraging more firearm access.
I mean yeah, I don’t really think you should have a gun at all if you’re saying the main thing stopping you from misusing it is that the ammo is stored separately, tbh. That doesn’t scream “safety” to me really, it seems more like a ticking time bomb. Not much I can do about that, but at any rate as I said I am now in agreeance with your chosen method of carry so long as it means you’re less likely to misuse it on an innocent person, even if that unfortunately comes at the expense of your safety. I was encouraging more firearms access before you divulged this information, and with the new information my opinion on the matter has shifted. Again, what I said was really under the assumption that you still wouldn’t shoot people you don’t have to, not because the ammo is stored separately, but because it is “wrong to do.”
and that’s what your 2A right earns you. people with even less self-awareness or judgment than me are just walking around everywhere you go with guns in their pockets.
Still I’d rather I have one and you/they do too than neither of us have one and you/they have a knife instead. Unless you also keep your blades stored separately from the handle I guess. At least if I need mine to protect me from you, I’ll have it ready when need be.
can’t disagree but it’s literally a stone age problem. the same logic has led to nuclear proliferation and doctrines of mutual assured destruction. that sounds much more terrifying in german but I can’t find the correct translation atm. not to mention capitalism and the proliferation of killing machines for profit.
in short, i think taking the bullets out of your stupid little gun is the right way to go. try it. you won’t die.
