• Maggoty@lemmy.world
      251·
      3 months ago

      Free cash based purchases for the rest of your life. A dollar spent in cash is a dollar saved in your bank account.

      But you’re actually fine. If you can get it into a bank account, just make sure to report the “gift” income to the IRS. The FBI might be interested but if you’re not involved in criminal activity they’ll soon leave.

      • Owl@mander.xyz
        15·
        3 months ago

        Alphabetboy: And who gifted you this if I may ask ?

        You: A middle eastern guy with purple skin and uhhh… he didn’t have legs

        Oh and he lives in the jar on the left kitchen shelf

    • Frog@lemmy.ca
      71·
      3 months ago
      1. By Bitcoin from shady guy on Craigslist
      2. If you survive, become an NFT artist
      3. Anonymous purchase of NFT from yourself
      4. Now you can pay taxes!
    • BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee
      4·
      3 months ago

      What if you go to the IRS and thell them you found all this money in your basement. The cash is all real, it’s not stolen, no one knows where it’s from and no one is missing it. Couldn’t you pay taxes on it like when you win the lottery and it’s legally yours?

  • samus12345@lemmy.worldEnglish
    54·
    3 months ago

    Management must have really hated the Robin Williams genie, since he always granted the wishes in the spirit of the person who did the wishing, even when it was the bad guy!

      • Ajen
        13·
        3 months ago

        I thought genies were bitter because they’re trapped in a lamp and forced to grant wishes?

      • samus12345@lemmy.worldEnglish
        5·
        3 months ago

        Depends on the writer. Some genies are jackass genies, which is what management is expecting here, while others may be literal genies, who aren’t necessarily malicious but grant the wish based purely on the words used to make it rather than the intended spirit of it.

    • niktemadur@lemmy.world
      111·
      3 months ago

      Reminds me of 1970s ace pitcher for the Oakland A’s, Vida Blue. One time in… I think it was '72… he got fined $250 for some harsh behavior or comment, maybe it was to the umpire or an opposing player. Already a superstar, Vida Blue was an aggressive competitor, known for speaking his mind, took no shit from anybody.

      Anyway, he paid it all in quarters, dimes and nickels. Asked about this at the time, he replied - “I wanted to pay it all in pennies, but they’re hard to come by”.

      I wish I could have seen his face when he committed to the prankster bit. “Oh, you wanna fine me, motherfuckers? I’m gonna make even that a hassle for ya.”
      The man was a legend. A monster on the mound, too, in '71 he won both the AL Cy Young and MVP.

      • Shard@lemmy.world
        14·
        3 months ago

        If he had paid all in pennies it’d actually be easier to count because you can just weigh it and assume a value.

        With a random mix of coins that now becomes near impossible without sorting through every single coin…

        • niktemadur@lemmy.world
          4·
          3 months ago

          The thing about Perry is that everyone always suspected the ball had funny stuff even when there was nothing on it that day, and Perry stoked that feeling, was a GOAT at playing mind games with opposing batters, keeping them off-balance, never knowing if it was coming or not.

  • ulterno@lemmy.kde.socialEnglish
    111·
    3 months ago

    The catch is that this was freshly minted, unbalanced credit. Meaning, you now have that much money worth of inflation. Have fun with the money you got by reducing the value of everyone’s wallet. 😈

  • emax_gomax@lemmy.world
    4·
    3 months ago

    This raises so many questions for me. All of them hilarious. Like if there’s a management organisation for genies are they also genies that get assigned to normal folks? How do you get recruited? If you’re in the wrong line of work do you quit or get re-assigned to something else. This is great XD.