But 6 of the 11 items here are not blunt.
Blunt is a state of mind 🧘♂️
Quarterstaff. It’s a walking stick but angrier.
Big stick always win. It breaks? Now two stick.
The lions would win if they attacked at night
OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don’t like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I’m assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you’ve wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We’ve talked to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said ‘You know what, lion tastes good, let’s go get some more lion’. We’ve developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Good old rock. Nothing beats rock.
How would paper even?
“Nah, rock flies right through paper!”- Mickey Abbott
I had a D&D character who used a Lucerne Hammer, which I’m seeing is essentially a bec de corbin.
The flail seems fun, I mean who doesn’t like moving parts and swingy things? I hear they were useful for reaching around shields. With my luck, I’d probably kill myself trying to use it.
The caveman in me calls out for rock though. It’s the ultimate finishing move.
Hard to beat a bec de corbin - that thing will punch straight through even plate armor.
You didn’t even give us a chance to ask!
Instead: what’s your favorite two handed weapon?
Crossbow, or, if we’re restricted to melee, halberds. I love me a good halberd. Such a professional weapon!
Mine is the same for both, maul. Something about a big hammer to both destroy and create, mostly to destroy.
Not that any of you insensitive villeins ASKED, but it’s the goedendag for me
That’s just a spear with extra heft.
I’ll give you such a bonk
The inner Hussite in me desires a two handed flail to repel the German crusaders attacking my wagon fort.
You dropped this, hejtman 👑
The virgin mace wielder: Oh I can’t march more than 20 miles a day, this thing keeps hitting my knee, my steed has a noticable limp to the right because I hit her while dismounting.
The Chad rock wielder: I’m sure there will be rocks when we get there.
I’ve always been a fan of the war hammer. You have the crushing end and the stabbing end, so versatile.
Bec de corbin my beloved
You know there’s a story in Indian mythology of a dude needing to kill a demon and asks a sage for help. Sage says use my bones dies and gets crafted into a mace that is then used to successfully kill the demon.
There’s a separate story of Vishnu killing a demon and fashioning his bones into a mace. So yeah maces.
Metal.
Or, uh, Bone?
I fucking knew a mace wasn’t actually spiky, NYT Connections suck my dick, you are wrong, I am right, the connection doesn’t exist between those words and l demand satisfaction.
¿Dónde están mis maquahuitl homies?
More cutting than blunt? Though I suppose that might put the spiked club into question as well.
And the flanged mace, and the morning star. There like blunt with benefits.
