• Squished Fly (she/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 hours ago

    Heh it’s actually very similar for me too:

    Orgasms and food are a waste of time that just makes me feel uncomfortable and I only waste my time with it when it’s absolutely necessary. And even then, the faster it’s over, the better (even if I might enjoy it in the moment).

    People keep saying it’s the best thing ever and i’m incredibly confused by that

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      13 hours ago

      I get that completely.

      Even though I do feel more okay with eating a bunch, I too feel people are overhyping this orgasm thing. Like, ew, no thanks. Literally every time I decide Okay, the time has come again, I should probably do it now I think Woah, I could be programming something interesting now, but no, my body wants to fuck. Great.

      I do understand the connection to eating things too though. It feels unnneccessary and like some thing you just gotta do sometimes cuz u gotta do it I guess.

      • Squished Fly (she/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        8 hours ago

        Spoken like we share a brain. “ok but I could be productive”

        Tho I do feel like it might be a little better if I would get bottom surgery but that’s quite a bit in the future. For now i’m just happy that estro killed almost all of my drive.

          • Squished Fly (she/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            3 hours ago

            I know that pain, that feeling of helplessness while waiting for stupid appointments and paperwork while knowing that your entire body is filled with hormones that slowly drive you into insanity. But you know what? Even if it takes as much as another year, it’s nothing in comparison to the lifetime you’ll have with the correct hormones.

            I believe in you sister, you got this!

      • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        Too adhd/social anxiety ridden to go out and meet people, apps are terrible, but it’s for the best, because one of the very few times I actually had contact with someone they gave me herpes, and I’m way too depressed to be around. So, uh, yeah, I need help but it’s not like anyone really can help. It’d be lovely to be intimate with someone again but I’d feel bad for anyone I let close enough for that. Sorry, overly depressing, you just kinda caught me during a crash and I’m desperate to let it out somewhere.

        • brrt
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          16 hours ago

          I feel you with everything you wrote. My theoretical take on “I’d feel bad for anyone I’d let close…” is that

          1. You might a better person than many, because many people do not think about the impact of their actions on others
          2. Everyone is doing things for themselves. Just be honest with them and yourself and try not to hurt anyone in the process as best as you can.
          3. It’s a very nice rationalization for not having to try at all. It’s easier to just mope by yourself :D

          What to do with all of this? Who knows… The struggle is real.

          • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            12 hours ago

            Thank you for your kind reality check. I know it’s not as bad as it feels… The problem is the feeling is part of the barrier.

            • brrt
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              9 hours ago

              Yeh, I know. This is as much of a reality check for me as it is for you.

              I need to constantly remind myself that other people struggle too, they might just not show it.

              It’s ok to have those feelings and to have that barrier. But peek over it from time to time, maybe there’s someone there peeking over theirs.