I’m of two minds when it comes to chewing out someone. On one hand, I have literally torn strips off dozer operators, and can cuss with the best of them. I love well put together strings of expletives, and think the more creative you are with them, funnier they are and the more they show intellect rather than just ‘huh huh fucking cunt’.

On the other side, I see the value of being overly polite but cutting. There’s something personal about it. You’re beautifully insulted and it feels like you disappointed your parents.

I generally tend to opt for the first option and call people slack-jawed pigeon fuckers.