Friends; plural. I quit drinking.
Sounds like a smart way.
A drinking buddy of mine quit. I got good at making mocktails. Bonus now when I want a cocktail but not booze I can have a nice drink.
Eastern countries don’t build all their communal events around booze but instead food. One of the many reasons I have no interest in moving back to the West.
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD’d in the bathtub. Wasn’t even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife’s baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30’s. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
Good lord what a hand you’ve been dealt. My sympathies.
I really appreciate it. All will always be well, in the end. It just can get rough sometimes, but storms pass one way or another. Thank you though
That’s really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
I am doing ok, and thank you. I try my best to take care of myself and have gotten much better at identifying/modifying maladaptive coping methods. It’s always a work in progress lol
I’ve worked around a lot of death as an ICU nurse, which I think has helped me with a little insight into “how to process”. You’re never ready when it’s someone you love and especially when it’s sudden, but seeing other people go through it regularly can give you a different view sometimes, I believe. But thank you again friend
All living in the same locality ?
No, everyone was pretty much spread out across three different US states. Just unfortunate happenstance (and timing, really)
This is ages ago, invited me to an MLM event without telling me it’s MLM. I’ve experienced cult that night.
This hits close to home…
I had someone do that with me too, but in their defense, I know they never had the brains to tell that was a cult. Fortunately they didn’t get trapped either, but they did waste a bit of money in it for a short while.
My best friend and I suggested online that maybe this friend of ours stop using “gay” as an insult (this was around 2009 or so) and he and his girlfriend became adamantly defensive and mean. When they implied that my best friend was molesting his beloved dog just to be assholes, I just cut the cord and walked away. They were idiots anyway.
Fun fact: the girlfriend was, and is, a huge “do good” volunteer advocacy leader. So, you know, help each other out, but don’t get in the way of my homophobic slurs.
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So, so many people refuse to believe they’re even capable of being wrong.
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And half the country. 😩
He became a Qanon ass licking dumbfuck and a pro Trump cum sandwich.
Also, we are French so his savior isn’t able to place us on a map.
Had a pretty much identical experience with a longtime best friend.
Within reason ofc but I think it’s a valuable thing to have friends with different viewpoints
It is, but not when they try to “educate” everyone around them at every breath they take, every text message and every conversation.
It ended up with everyone saying “dude stop, we don’t care at all” and him apologizing then saying “ok sorry, my mistake, I explained it wrong that’s why you didn’t understand”.
Again and again and again. It is a disease that needs medical treatment (psychiatric, the same as people leaving cults) and the way he described it fits the description. He said that he “fell in it” (tomber dedans in French, as in falling in a pit) by being bored at work and watching too many YouTube videos to pass time.
We tried to help, but after 2 years we were exhausted. Dude doesn’t want to be helped and we are not medical professionals.
Last news was that he now hangs with another former friend from school that also refused to change and get help, the only cocaine addict of our small town. To the village they are known as the crazy guys sitting on a park bench all day and feeding each other craziness. To them they are probably the only two enlightened dudes and everybody else is too dumb and needs to be awoken.
Imo that has nothing to do with their views though
I don’t tend to like people who haven’t thought their opinions through but stand by them anyway, the people in my life with these different viewpoints can intelligently and civilly justify them rather than just spouting nonsense
If nothing else, then to have a reference to whom else not to befriend, and to have a known source for all the hottest new nonsense.
Kinda like Urban Dictionary. Lots of degenaratory stuff on there, but at least i got somewhat reliable definitions for all the weird stuff people call me and/or each other.
That’s pretty much what I mean, have friends with different views so you can get a good gauge for what’s going on in the world
Obviously not the people who haven’t really thought their opinions through but I know a number of people who make good thought out arguments for what they believe in that still conflict with my own
Lost (sent away) two who tried to ‘date’ my husband.
I bought tickets for a concert for us both provided she drive. She never showed up and didn’t answer her phone or anything but was somehow mad at me a few days later.
Mad she didn’t get invited to a concert my GF bought tickets to. Welp
I mean, if my friends knew I was a huge fan of the band, were going and weren’t like, “tickets are £50, do you want one?” It would sting.
Thats a specific situation you’re imagining and isnt necessarily what happened
I did realise that it’s a specific situation but as the original post didn’t have more context, I didn’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to suggest some.
If OP wants to expand on the situation, they’re welcome to.
I wasn’t planning on it, my GF bought the tickets without asking me about it, and didn’t know about my pal being into the band. But my friend figured I was the one who left her out. Plus, not everyone gets invited to everything, hey I’m dating someone here. Called me up and berated me about being a bad friend without saying what it was she was mad about. I prefer not to have friends that use that kind of rhetoric.
Fair enough
I canceled on the biweekly DnD session because it was scheduled for Halloween and I had plans. Told him a little last minute (day before when I realized).
Dude torpedoed our 10 year friendship over that.
Was that this year? Halloween wasn’t too long ago, maybe he was in a bad mood/unstable situation. You may recover if he reconsiders, it feels a bit extreme to burn a decade old bridge just because of that
Last year.
:/ sorry
Could it be the last straw?
Not really? It was his first time DMing. He was doing a homebrew story. Actually Foundry, not DnD. It was my first time playing and I was really struggling with it. I wasn’t a fan of where the party was taking it and each session was basically wandering aimlessly through a cave and repeating my only attack (sling a rock) at whatever monsters we found. I let him know that I wasn’t enjoying it and there wasn’t a lot for my character to do and he just linked me to the rules website.
I asked for advice on Lemmy, and they suggested I ask for like a 15 minute out of character period at the start of next session to express what our goals were in the game. That was scheduled for the session that I ultimately bailed on.
I got a long string of texts the next morning about how I don’t respect him and never respected him and a lot of other shit. I dunno.
It seems that in the past he felt bad about something you did to him, he give you another chance and you did the thing about cancelling at the last moment. So the real issue was the previous one, nor the latter (the one you said at the beginning)
Sorry for my english.
If he was, he made no effort to tell me what that was, so that’s on him.
Yes, it seems so.
Agree with other responder. End of October was… Stressful. Way more for some than others. This might be one of those situations where trying an “Are you OK?” would be all that’s needed to start mending.
2023
I was in the military and was friends with a guy I worked with. When I got promoted I changed positions, so I didn’t see him much at work, but we still hung out outside of work often.
One day he did something that could have gotten him in a lot of trouble. I was the only NCO (Sargent) around when it happened. My supervisor offered to take care of the punishment himself because he knew we were friends. I said no, he’s my friend, I witnessed it, so I’ll take care of it. Plus I was able to convince them to just give him some paperwork, instead of more severe punishment he could have had.
I took him into a private area, explained what he did wrong and that he was only getting paperwork. He didn’t say a word, just signed it and walked out. I tried to go talk to him after work and his roommate came out calling me all sorts of names, asking how I could do that to him, and how I was a power tripping asshole, on and on. I asked if I could talk to my friend and explain and he told me my friend requested I never come back over.
I was at that base another year and he never talked to me again.
This is what happens when the rules don’t apply to everybody equally. The military is at the top of the class for doing so. Still it happens; where it appears a “guilty bastard” avoids the usual punishment thru influence, rank, or some other reason. It sets a very bad example, and the troops can get testy if they don’t get the same (perceived) treatment.
A friend of 8 years stole a few dresses from me while we were out on a trip. They weren’t necessarily expensive, just cute sundresses that I had bought after saving up some money with my first big job. After returning home, I texted her to get one back because it was the dress I wore on my first date with my (now) husband and was sentimental. I was willing to part with the other ones. Her response was “Since I already have it with me, it would be easier if I just keep it and not have to find a way to get it to you.”
We lived ~20 minutes apart. After that, I was ghosted. She continued to wear the dress and post photos online, blocking me so that I couldn’t see, but other friends saw and reported back to me. Safe to say she was not invited to the wedding.
Good riddance, sorry about the dresses though
That’s such a weird way to execute that… like if you’re gonna steal someone’s style, just go buy copies or something very similar. Still weird, but way less weird than what this chick did.
Maybe she was trying to be you or some shit.
“Since I already have it with me, it would be easier if I just keep it and not have to find a way to get it to you.”
Wow, she sounds annoyed that you’d expect your stolen items returned.
Worst example is friend who, after being hospitalized for accident while car surfing, died car surfing again. I wasn’t present for either event.
Second worst is dude with head injury (unrelated) started talking about crystals and toxins and juice fasting. Called him out one day, and it was catastrophic. This one is still alive, at least AFAIK.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
When my ex- and I were going through a divorce, they didn’t want me to say anything publicly at all. They were insistent that it wasn’t anyone else’s business, and since I was trying to make the process as painless as possible, I assumed that this was a good-faith request.
I was wrong.
I was being silent, and they were telling everyone a load of horseshit about me, and bad-mouthing me in public to every single one of our mutual friends. I lost all but one of our mutual friends; my silence was assumed to be an admission of guilt.
I’m so sorry. I strongly suspect this happened to me as well. To this day I’ve never mentioned the evidence I had of her infidelity to anyone, because I’m a better person that she is. My former friends likely discovered this for themselves in due course.
His last communication was a Facebook post to the world about how he only had room for supportive people in his life, not people who wanted to tear him down.
Guess he got tired of me saying mean things like “You should be paying your debt down, not buying things you can’t afford” “Your wife is right and you shouldn’t fight her on this” and “I understand that the universe rewards positive thought with positive destiny but you also need a plan”.
Brother: Lets just say we had a major disagreement in early November.
Couldn’t agree what stash you’d each grow for Movember? :D /s
Or they couldn’t agree if almonds or pistachios were the best nut.
Pistachios, because almonds aren’t actually nuts. They’re drupesEdit: they’re both drupes!
Pistachios aren’t actually nuts. They’re drupes
Oh shit, you’re right! I had no idea, good catch.
RIP friendship 😔
I returned to my hometown to handle the passing of my grandfather. I didn’t call my friend, who I had known since preschool, to go hang out. In reality I didn’t give a single thought to contacting anyone I knew – I had family to take care of. He felt insulted by that and chose to never speak to me again.
If this sounds completely illogical, I can assure you I’m just as baffled as you.
