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Nonbinary folks are in a unique position to comment on the definition of “being a man” or “being a woman”.
I imagine that it is kinda like asking a person who is mixed race (white and black) about their view on racism in America. At some point in time, a mixed race person finds a way to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that occurs when discussing race, since they have family members they love on both sides of the spectrum.
You say that as if mixed race people aren’t routinely ostracized by both sides of their mix.
Except they’re not. They’re not men or women, hence the term “non-binary”.