On anything.
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There’s no one answer fits all.
On life? Never. On your goals? Depends. On self-destructive behaviour? Now. On those you love? Never. On business ventures that don’t take off? You tell me.
Point is: life is rarely black & white. Treat it with the color and nuance that makes it what it is.
Why never on life, just asking. If it was completely ruined from the start, why not give up? If you spill ink over a painting, it’s ruined and you toss it out.
The japanese philosophy of Kintsugi may help you look at things differently. Impurities are what make us all unique. Nothing in nature is perfect.
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20210107-kintsugi-japans-ancient-art-of-embracing-imperfection
Sure, life can be incredibly tough, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed at times. However, unlike a painting, life isn’t a static object. It has ups and downs, and even when things seem completely ruined, there’s always potential for change, growth and even thriving. I actually have a little experience with that.
Staying with your analogy: if you spill ink on a painting, you might see it as ruined at first. But some artists use those accidents to create something new and beautiful. Like so, life can take unexpected turns, and what seems like a disaster now might lead to new opportunities. I am the person I am partly due to troubles and disasters in my life. Could I do without those? Sure. Should I? Not sure.
That all said, if you’re feeling like ending it all I can only encourage you to reach out for support. Talking to friends, family, or a mental health professional in your area can make a big difference.
Your life is valuable. You are important and valuable.
You’re not alone. Definitely not with life. There are people who care about you and want to help.
It’s practically impossible to fix a painting covered in ink. It’s never too late for a life to change.
No one has ever fixed their lives after 20. It only gets worse if you’re not rich as a teenager or popular online before then. Everything after 20 is just drug addiction and fighting. And even if someone manages to fix their lives later, it’s always in old age where it wouldn’t have mattered. Yeah… all that work and uphill grinding for one week of freedom, sooooo worth it.
There’s a lot of “all or nothing” thinking here. Have you tried talking this out with a therapist you trust at all?
Wishing you the best, friend, from someone who’s actively fixing their life before I turn 45. It’ll take time to get there. I’m totally enjoying the reduced stress, anxiety and depression as I work on it.
Everything after 20 is just drug addiction and fighting.
What are you talking about?! The number of people who have never even conceive of drug addiction, let alone suffering it, is staggering.
I think no one has their life together at their twenties. At your thirties things start to calm down, and gives you the oppertunity to organise your life. Only then you know who you are and what you want from life, and then you can change up your life for it to be what you want it to be.
Everyone else does between 15 and 19, they have their own houses and cars they bought with their jobs, yet I’m almost 30 and I have nothing. Everyone else is getting married at 23. At 30 I’ll still be trying to move out just like I will be at 50, and 80, and after retiring I’ll still be trying to move out by gambling or grinding online stuff until I die in the house I’ll stuck in. Might as well cut my losses.
Everyone else does between 15 and 19
No they don’t. It just looks like it. At 30 the things they found important at 18 aren’t important anymore. Priorities shift.
Everyone else is getting married at 23
I literally know no-one that was married at 23.
At 30 I’ll still be trying to move out
Just like a lot of people of this generation. They are fucked by housing prices.
So you’re not alone in this. I think most people are in a similar situation. Try to find people that can support and help you. Just don’t give up, you never know what happens tomorrow.
That’s simply not true. Around 26 your brain finally settles and it’s hard to turn fully around. Until then, therapy can be extremely useful because your personality is not 100% formed.
Afterwards therapy can still be very useful because therapists are trained to help you and they know how and they can help you live a better life. Obviously, the younger you are the better, but it’s better to start at 60 than not at all.
Therapy can help at any age. Not sure what “one week of freedom” are you talking about, but your life can literally get better overall.
I’ve seen you struggling with existential questions a lot here. Are you going to therapy?
There are so many people who deserve it more, now why would I block them from receiving help, so I could be an even bigger burdensome waste of resources? Bruh, come on. My mother literally took food from a food bank that she didn’t need, made each family member (except me because I’d escape) do it and take 4 times the amount alotted to each household, to just NOT use. Literally wasting resources that someone in need could use. Why would I do that myself?
I’m just saying if your life was ruined at the start then it’s ruined forever, either continue living a ruined life or give up.
Hatte to be mister smarty-pants here, but empirically if your life was ruined from the start, your chances of recovery through therapy are actually much higher then for someone who ruined it himself/got Ill later on in life.
The thing is: finding therapy that works for you is a process on its own. You will likely have to try a lot of them to find a good one who has free slots. But you will find one eventually and if you have it does help!
Just one word of caution: go to to ones who actually have a Dr./major/magister in psychology and are registered doctors.
I hope you life in a country with good universal healthcare, if so you can just go to a therapist (they offer single sittings for cases like that) and discuss with him what kind of therapy could work for you and what the next address can be.
I am someone who is not religious and believes everyone should have a free decision if they want to live or not, but my galeart says: man, don’t give yourself up, especially not because of damage inflicted on you by others. All the best from germany
You have all the right to claim a spot in society and use the resources it offers you. It is not wasted! You can turn things around if you really try. I would really urge you to seek out therapy.
so I could be an even bigger burdensome waste of resources
You sure you don’t need that therapy more? That sounds exactly like someone who could use a therapy.
I’m just saying if your life was ruined at the start then it’s ruined forever, either continue living a ruined life or give up.
That’s simply not true as proven countless times.
Maybe therapy can’t help you. Statistically speaking, it most likely can. If you try and don’t succeed, you can at least tell yourself you tried.
Yeah so I should take food from a food bank because I don’t feel like paying for it, and that’s completely fair to the homeless people. And I tried for my whole life to cut ties and I’m still stuck. Everyone else got to be kids during childhood, and I was trying to make money online to hopefully move out at 16 or 18. Still never got out.
No, you shouldn’t do it because you don’t feel like paying, I never said that. But if it would help you move out from your toxic family, go for it. I’m not just talking out of my ass, I’ve lived through some shit of my own when I was a kid. Therapy helps and that’s from personal experience.
I think putting over 10 years towards a goal and never achieving it means you should just give up
What goal?
Cutting ties with family and moving out. Every apartment costs at least 20% more than I make monthly, a mortgage is out of the question after losing my credit last year, and working while living with these people is not sustainable. Every roommate is basically family but worse and there’s no way I’m moving out from living with family to live with someone worse than family. Even if I find roommates that aren’t nicotine or marijuana users, they’ll be something worse the minute I’m stuck with them. No one knows how it feels being the only person who doesn’t use that stuff, and being antagonized by groups of people withdrawing from it.
Ah, its okay to live with parents. I mean you might have other reason to want to move out, and I get that. People want independence, and that’s okay. But like in this economy, its probably not a good idea to try living by yourself unless you get lucky and find a high paying job.
If your parents are okay with you staying with them, you should stay. Because if you cant afford to live by yourself, then roommates are necessary, but then when you think about it, aren’t parents just like roommates? I mean you can think of parents like roomates that happen to be related to you. I mean, I have a relative that have a few of rentals as investment and their tenants are always either romantically involved, or roommates. Like nobody in this economy is really living by themselves.
TLDR; If your parents are okay with you living with them, then just accept their welcome. Not every parent allows their kids to live with them. Its not your fault, its the economy.
Edit: Well its also the housing crisis. Both the economy and housing crisis are to blame.
