• solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

    it’s stressful, spending a lifetime pretending to not be as sensitive as a de-scrotum’d testicle

    • RobotToaster@mander.xyz
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      2 days ago

      So your response to an article about how men don’t talk about their feelings is “Ha Ha men are just sensitive snowflakes”?

      I wonder why men don’t talk about their feelings more 🤔🤔

      • Croquette
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        1 day ago

        My dude, you need to re-read what OP said and rethink your comprehension of the text.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        do you always just make up completely different meanings for the things you read? or only when it’s something about men being sensitive and trying to pretend not to be?

      • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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        2 days ago

        Hey, I think some nuance was lost over the imperfect medium of text. Here’s what OP is getting at—when someone ignores their emotions, they don’t just go away. Emotions are just signals from the body about what is good for it and what is bad for it. Emotions are the body telling someone what it needs. If emotions are ignored, then the body isn’t getting what it needs, so it sends stronger signals. When I don’t eat, I get hungrier (until I start starving and my body begins eating itself, anyways). When I don’t tend to an injury, it hurts more. When I’m resentful and I don’t do anything about my feelings of resentment, those feelings grow in strength and force.

        Any person who has been told by society that they should disregard their emotions will have a body which is screaming its discontent at them. I’m a man and I was raised to hide and repress my feelings (although I was never really into extreme toxic masculinity). It was fucking agonizing, and I became so, so sensitive to things. It took years of therapy for me to learn that the body keeps the score and that I had to feel and express my feelings, just like I had to eat or bandage a cut.

        Anyone who has suffered from emotional self-neglect will be sensitive. Western society pushes men to neglect themselves, so those men will be sensitive. That’s all OP meant. Men who accept their emotions for what they are and tend to them will be much less sensitive and will almost certainly be happier people.

        • dmention7@lemm.ee
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          2 days ago

          Honestly, it’s the

          as a de-scrotum’d testicle

          part that throws me. Makes it sound like they are comparing having normal human emotions to being as overly sensitive as a bare, unprotected testicle.

          • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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            2 days ago

            Yeah, it’s not (in my opinion) the best way to get the idea across. I read that and immediately thought of how it felt when I was emotionally repressed. To me, a de-scrotumed testicle sounds about right, because even the softest and most gentle care was still rough and painful. I can see how someone could read something much less kind in that phrase, however.

            • dmention7@lemm.ee
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              2 days ago

              I had to re-read your original comment to fully get your point, but I hear what you’re saying now.

              (Or maybe I just need an excuse to dip out of this thread and try to bleach the image of a de-scrotum’d testicle from my brain)

          • Scubus
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            2 days ago

            Most humans are sensitive. It comes from being a social creature

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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      2 days ago

      Or they take their role as provider more seriously and when they fail, they do what they see as only way out…

      But sure… It is about being “sensentive” 🤡

      • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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        2 days ago

        Please reconsider this. The sensitivity that OP is talking about is like the hunger that a starving person feels. Men who haven’t ever been allowed to deal with their feelings will be more sensitive as their bodies scream at them to acknowledge years resentment, burden, anger, anxiety, and fear. A man committing suicide to get away from emotional deprivation is like a starving person committing suicide even though they could have access to food. Men don’t have to be providers for others, and it they choose to, they don’t have to suffer silently and thanklessly under a yoke as the world whips them. You can take care of someone while also getting your emotional needs met.

        • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 days ago

          Yoke*

          But, thank you for taking the time to text this all to a perfect stranger. 💜

        • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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          2 days ago

          Men who haven’t ever been allowed to deal with their feelings

          The only people not allowing this are themselves… i am sorry these bootlickers can’t grow a backbone and act in their own self interest.

          Blaming “toxic” masculinity because losers can’t think for themselves is is toxic muscularity in of itself.

          Serving some rich dude’s need is not masculine, ie “I work hard to provide but I never see my kids is not a flex btw.” it is not masculine.

          I don’t know how we got to the point where bootlicking became toxic masculinity. Any man with self respect treats other men telling them what to do as a threat actor lol

          • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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            2 days ago

            I was one of those men, although I was never overtly sexist or misogynistic. I had a quieter form of toxic masculinity, where I always had to have an answer to every question, always had to be dependable and available, always had to be tough and strong. My father raised me that way and spoke out whenever I stepped outside of those lines. Once I moved out on my own, I took up my dad’s place and whipped myself whenever I wasn’t good enough. It took years of failure, pain, and suffering before I really questioned what I was raised to be. From there, it took years of therapy and love from a wonderful person to get to the point where I only occasionally find some of that old programming.

            Don’t get me wrong, toxic masculinity is not an excuse for bad behavior. Every person is ultimately responsible for their well-being and for how they treat others. My actions as a young adult caused some real harm, and that’s on me. “Buckling down” and working hard for some shithead boss is not, in general, very good for someone’s well-being. However, it’s a lesson that many boys are taught, and it can be very difficult to break out of childhood conditioning.

            • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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              2 days ago

              it’s a lesson that many boys are taught, and it can be very difficult to break out of childhood conditioning.

              no doubt but being a another man’s or society’s bitch, there is nothing masculine about it. i am not sure who came with this wording but it does not make much sense.

              it hides what is really happening… bootlicking…

              with that being said, a man with kids gonna need to step up and take care of his family that’s just biology. and providing gonna make you slave for daddy but you aint got to larp’s daddy’s koolaid.

        • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 days ago

          Got anything worthwhile to offer, or are you just in line to touch the coffin lid and say the words in the hope that you feel something?

          • frankenswine@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            sorry, i was just too irritated by sunzu2’s comment, and - reading their other comments now - their general attitude on male mental health.

            and no, i don’t have to hold a lid or say the words to feel the pain, thanks ;)