I came across a post that talked about this app. It’s an app designed in the name of “female empowerment” by letting women endorse other guys they deem to be good to their other single friends.
And the guys on the app? They’re immediately told to be on their “best behaviour” and if they do so, they’ll earn rewards and points. This bit I find very condescending and not to mention misandric as it doesn’t mention any toxic behaviour that women do. It also gives off the vibes of the “Toronto Unhinged list” or “Are we dating the same guy.” list as well.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.hulah You can check it out yourselves here.
Dating is already hard enough for men out there, and this app will only make it needlessly harder. I wouldn’t be surprised if this app attracts only the feminist types as they’re the ones screeching about safety (Note: due to the expectation of men to initiate most things in dating and sometimes resorting to toxic methods to do so, I can understand women’s need to be safe in these interactions especially if a man can’t handle rejection, but I think the scale of safety is being inflated when you have apps or list like these.)
What are your thoughts on it? Do you think this app is a great idea to keep women safe or is it just another discriminatory practice against men and males?
They’re screeching about safety because men rape and murder women. Those men don’t rape and murder women because “men are expected to make the first move”. Women trying to avoid being raped and murdered is not misandry.
If you are having trouble dating, please try and reexamine your attitude towards and beliefs about women. This post gives a very negative impression and women absolutely pick up on that.
No, “men” do not rape and murder women. It’s a small minority of men who rape, and a similarly small minority of women who rape (but nobody is screeching about that). In fact, rape should not be viewed as a gendered crime.
Generalizing this to all men, or to men in general, is in fact misandry.
Please try and reexamine your attitude towards and beliefs about men. This comment gives a very negative impression and we absolutely pick up on that.
@RoquetteQueen By this logic, men should also be included and endorse women on apps like this as they deal with women who make false allegations against them (and don’t give me this 2% nonsense as it doesn’t include unreported incidents), are just a likely to be abusive to their bfs, and even rape them. But on all accounts, no gender should be doing this. We’re not products for review, and treating men and women in this manner is very dehumanizing.
I never said men rape and murder women due to the expectation to make the first move, that’s absolutely absurd. But this app claims to reward men for “good behaviour.” This is very vague and it does tie into “men expected to initiate” as we still live in a society that expects this from us, including feminists. But if our innocent gesture of flirting is gonna make someone uncomfortable just from showing sexual interest alone (just expressing sexual interest in an appropriate manner, not inappropriate behaviour), then that potentially becomes sexual harassment.
@Mshuser I agree that the app absolutely walks the line on being condescending and misandrist, but this is crap:
I wouldn’t be surprised if this app attracts only the feminist types as they’re the ones screeching about safety
The vocal feminists may be the only ones “screeching” about safety, but ALL women are thinking about safety, all the time. The world is just inherently not as safe for women, even in first world countries. Surely you don’t deny that. We should be screeching about safety too.
I think this app could definitely fill a need for women to feel safe when it comes to dating. It’s a huge concern (for us, as well…sexually liberated women are a good thing for men, and safety is the #1 thing preventing that). But again, it’s very easy to slip into pandering to women and condescending to men, and unless they have a stellar PR/marketing team I doubt they can walk that line while staying respectful to all parties.
@Aesthesiaphilia women think about safety all the time due to the paranoia they’ve been fed about men growing up. The tin men actually has a post about this that you can check out.
But yea when it comes to safety, generally speaking, most stats on crime incidents are less than 1% in the grand scheme of things. Even in those statistics, men are more likely to be killed than women on average (even if by other men) but they also deal with shame and humiliation if they open up about being abused by their gf/wives or even seen as the perpetrator, false allegations, etc. When you look at it this way, the world isn’t inherently safe for us even if we are more physically developed. But let’s just say the world isn’t safe for anyone ever.
Another reason to point out that while teaching women to be very cautious of men, we’re also teaching men that they have to make the first move all the time and if they don’t continuously take action then they won’t see any success (this treatment gets emphasized mostly by actions than words). Men then resort to pua/redpill that teaches them strategies and guess what? Now you have to deal with men who will approach you anytime anywhere and due to what you’ve been fed about men coupled with some not so pleasant experiences with a few men, the whole interactions become uncomfortable.
Also many of these movements will tell men to take questionable actions in the name of “masculinity”, resulting in them stopping you mid-day, persisting with you, saying outlandish things etc. All of this comes from the expectation we still have of men to take initiative and be the one driving the interaction. If we actively started telling society not to put this role to men by default, none of this would be happening.
But most men out there aren’t even doing the things I’ve described. The kind of men who are? Puas and psychopathic men (the types of men who don’t or learned not to give af about this.)
This setup creates a self-fulfilling prophecy thats just gonna make things uncomfortable for both parties and only the thoughtless and inconsiderate would be the ones to succeed here.
Idk much about first world countries as I’m often told what it’s like over there from a feminist lense, but now that I question the ideology, I’m now questioning how much we’re told about them are actually true. I’ll be doing some research here.
women think about safety all the time due to the paranoia they’ve been fed about men growing up.
I blame the recent obsession with true crime. “You are what you eat” applies to media consumption habits, too. If you spend all evening watching Fox News, you’ll think drag queens are coming after your kids. If you listen to podcasts about brutal, out-of-the-blue murders as a form of entertainment, you’ll see an axe-killer in every shadow.
These people form their worldviews based on these freak tragedies rather than the statistics that show people are far more likely to experience violence at the hands of someone they know than a stranger.
@rikersbeard This would be more applicable to news. While I do see your point, I think anyone who watches fictional media and looks to that as an example has to be pretty susceptible. I don’t think it takes that much smarts to not believe everything you see on media, especially TV shows. Don’t get me wrong, the media does play a role in forming the perception of certain groups and demographics, but we need to get clear on the scale of it. If they watch TV shows about a certain group and develop fear from that, then I think the scale is uneseccarily high and need to be brought down.
@Mshuser Is this the app by the same people being Are We Dating The Same Guy? I hope people start suing them for defamation.
@rikersbeard I’m not too sure about that but they’re both pretty similar. Men are bad so we need groups to vet every man and make them prove they are human beings before we start seeing them as such. Dehumanize them until they prove themselves.
Apparently, if a guy is not doing well and I guess generating enough points the ringleader can kick the guy off her team and effectively the app. I am all for women’s safety but this is just heartbreaking. Also, what if you don’t know women, you’re locked out of the app. Again, women’s safety needs to be taken seriously, but I fear that this app is going to leave a lot of us out and discarded. Also, the guys are referred to as part of the women’s fleet… I can’t imagine how that would fly if the opposite were true, I certainly wouldn’t feel right about referring to women as my fleet members…
you’re locked out of the app
I’d consider that a plus. Men should not use apps like this.
I may be old-skool, but I believe meeting people in real life is still the best way.
@admiral_wasabi So basically some weird caste / hierarchy
I can’t imagine how that would fly if the opposite were true, I certainly wouldn’t feel right about referring to women as my fleet members…
Fine by me, everyone is too prudish nowadays. Back when I was dating a lot (pre-pandemic), me and my friends would refer to the various ladies I was seeing as my “harem” (as did some of the groovier ladies I was seeing). Dating is a spectrum from no-strings-attached fuckbuddies to intimate exclusive relationships, and as long as there’s consent from all parties, we should be okay with any and all parts of that spectrum. This app is obviously geared more towards the casual, no-strings-attached type of relationships.
@Mshuser
I think that the ideal app, would let everyone rate everyone else, same sex or not. If you as a woman really like a man. But, other men don’t like him, then it might mean that the other men know something about him that you don’t. If you as a man really like a woman, but other women don’t like her, then the ladies may know something that you don’t about her. So, you should actually be letting everyone rate everyone instead of artificially limiting the information available to people.@Sewblon I don’t think rating people is the best way to go and it actually introduces more problems than you think. When you take sexual strategies into consideration, some people will use this app to discredit a completely innocent person for the sake of revenge or keeping some type of leverage. Human nature and motivation can manifest in different ways and we need to be mindful of that
I think the greatest impact of this will be as another chapter in the culture war of memes in the gender war. Meaning the few guys who sign up will be castigated as self hating, zero dignity male feminists who can’t string a sentence together without apologizing for the sins of their gender and the women would be characterized as man hating women who lament the fact they can’t flip a switch and become a lesbian.
Even with the advent of apps like bumble that forced women to initiate first via matches, I don’t think it achieved much in changing the wider cultural expectation that men should approach and initiate romantic interest first.
I’m a man & I’m a “feminist type”. What kind of person isn’t a “feminist type”?
An egalitarian
