I remember one time I’d been doing yard work and had my hair wrapped up to keep dirt and some sweat out of it. I got in the car and went off to my (now) ex’s house. The road ran past that country ass courthouse in the northern part of the county and I got pulled over just in front of it after going through a stoplight that I’d been stopped at so I couldn’t possibly have been speeding. I was like 20 with the life experience of a fundie kid who was discouraged from leaving the house until 18 and stupid as FUCK and for some stupid fucking reason thought it would be cute and / or funny to lean out the drivers window and yell “what could I possibly have done???” The officer literally started stuttering and apologizing and told me “you just went around the corner a little too fast sorry maam drive safe” and got back in his car and sped off. I was so confused. Later it occurred to me that he suddenly realized I was white (I was also really cute to the extent that I’m kind of enjoying the reduction in attention now I’ve gotten older).
When I tell this story to other white people I say that I don’t think I should’ve gotten my ass beat and honestly I probably shouldn’t have gotten pulled over. But I was also being a little bit of a 20 year old little shit. And the moral of the story is that I think everybody should have the right to be a 20 year old li’l shit (just a little, obvs. There’s limits). There are so many times in my life that I have just gotten through by sheer luck because someone gave me the benefit of the doubt. Somebody looked at me and saw a dumb kid fucking up and said,“look, that was kinda shitty of you, here’s how you’re supposed to handle that.” It’s literally saved my life multiple times over. I got my ass beat by the cops during a mental health crisis where somebody who wasn’t some cute little white chick would’ve just got shot. I would not be living the life I’m living now if people hadn’t been so kind to me (or at least gone easier on me than they might’ve otherwise).
And honestly I just think everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt at least most of the time. And it’s not being ungrateful for what I have to say that (because that’s usually how this conversation comes up). In fact, I think a lot of people are really ungrateful for how many times in their lives that someone looked at them and saw someone who needed help when something as small as a darker shade of skin could’ve meant they saw someone malicious.
I really like the moral argument that everyone should be treated like a cute little white girl. It’s perhaps a little sad to see that it’s the straightest line between two points, so to speak.
Yeah. I know my audience. I’ve got a couple of innate qualities that kind of person listens to (although I actually got rid of the couple you’re probably thinking of) and when you phrase it as humility and gratitude sometimes you can activate that little shred of goodness they learned in Sunday School at eight years old.
I remember one time I’d been doing yard work and had my hair wrapped up to keep dirt and some sweat out of it. I got in the car and went off to my (now) ex’s house. The road ran past that country ass courthouse in the northern part of the county and I got pulled over just in front of it after going through a stoplight that I’d been stopped at so I couldn’t possibly have been speeding. I was like 20 with the life experience of a fundie kid who was discouraged from leaving the house until 18 and stupid as FUCK and for some stupid fucking reason thought it would be cute and / or funny to lean out the drivers window and yell “what could I possibly have done???” The officer literally started stuttering and apologizing and told me “you just went around the corner a little too fast sorry maam drive safe” and got back in his car and sped off. I was so confused. Later it occurred to me that he suddenly realized I was white (I was also really cute to the extent that I’m kind of enjoying the reduction in attention now I’ve gotten older).
When I tell this story to other white people I say that I don’t think I should’ve gotten my ass beat and honestly I probably shouldn’t have gotten pulled over. But I was also being a little bit of a 20 year old little shit. And the moral of the story is that I think everybody should have the right to be a 20 year old li’l shit (just a little, obvs. There’s limits). There are so many times in my life that I have just gotten through by sheer luck because someone gave me the benefit of the doubt. Somebody looked at me and saw a dumb kid fucking up and said,“look, that was kinda shitty of you, here’s how you’re supposed to handle that.” It’s literally saved my life multiple times over. I got my ass beat by the cops during a mental health crisis where somebody who wasn’t some cute little white chick would’ve just got shot. I would not be living the life I’m living now if people hadn’t been so kind to me (or at least gone easier on me than they might’ve otherwise).
And honestly I just think everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt at least most of the time. And it’s not being ungrateful for what I have to say that (because that’s usually how this conversation comes up). In fact, I think a lot of people are really ungrateful for how many times in their lives that someone looked at them and saw someone who needed help when something as small as a darker shade of skin could’ve meant they saw someone malicious.
Anyway that’s my soapbox.
I really like the moral argument that everyone should be treated like a cute little white girl. It’s perhaps a little sad to see that it’s the straightest line between two points, so to speak.
Yeah. I know my audience. I’ve got a couple of innate qualities that kind of person listens to (although I actually got rid of the couple you’re probably thinking of) and when you phrase it as humility and gratitude sometimes you can activate that little shred of goodness they learned in Sunday School at eight years old.