Had a ex-friend who went real hard last year about feeling his masculinity has been challenged. Went deep into the manosphere language. He was extra annoying. Every convo was about how he, a white man in America, was being repressed. He started labelling random shit as masculine/feminine. Got sick this and stopped inviting him.
A few months later, I learned the divorce was finalized and he’s been sending me invites to hang with him in his bachelor pad. Nah dog you suck now.
yeah and i bet that shit was the reason for the divorce. i got a friend who lost her husband down the right wing rabbithole and now she’s processing the grief of losing someone she loved to something so goddamn stupid
This could have been me. For the longest time I was watching right wing YT channels without really realizing it because they were hiding their messaging well under legitimate critique of the movies and shows I was no longer enjoying. My girlfriend and I got into multiple arguments over this and I could tell that this was something we’d never agree on, which makes sense of course. Eventually I managed to pull myself out by unsubscribing from these channels ocne the messaging became a lot more clear (around 2021, you can probably guess why) and since then things have been much better between us and in general.
I’m proud of you for realizing something was off and correcting course. I know how easy it is to get sucked into that garbo. I got sucked in myself when I was a young teen. I genuinely don’t remember how I pulled myself out of it, but I’m glad I did because I’m positive my life would be miserable if I hadn’t.
Yeah it’s honestly insane how much of it there is. Even channels that appear to be completely innocent at first can suddenly start veering in this direction. I remember watching someone like CinnamonToastKen when I was younger and it always used to be very generic fun for everyone content. But the last few years I started catching on to him saying more and more right leaning, conspiracy theory type stuff.
He made comments about the US (where he no longer even lives) keeps giving money to Ukraine instead of fixing their own problems, the “stolen election” and of course about Trump winning again. I really don’t understand why you have to make statements like that, you (on average) alienate about half of your audience by saying stuff like that. But oh well, a quick unsub and moving on.
Like I said in another comment, Cinnamontoastken is one of them. Other ones (with varied levels of “hiding their messaging”) would be:
Critical drinker - he’s more in the camp of acting like it was a joke / satire butl it really wasn’t. Also, he made his own “good” movie which sucked ass :D
Nerdrotic - he’s someone I turned away from very quickly, he doesn’t hide it at all and is constantly racist, bigoted and discriminatory. He kinda serves as a lightning rod for the others, as in “oh this guy is so bad but these other ones are okay”.
Oompaville - bit of a different genre, mostly react content, he always seemed like a classic freedom lover Texan but seemed like a decent guy. Kinda went off a cliff once Trump got re-elected with his snarky comments and comment section.
Baggage claim. Seemed like a slightly more feminist conservative but went off the deep end around the time of the election, spreading misinformation and diving into conspiracy theories about RFK and the deep state.
I’m sure there’s others but those were the ones I remember the most.
Edit: I just remembered another one, Asmongold. He’s close to being the worst one. He hides his opinions behind reaction content and video games, always acts like he’s a “neutral fencesitter” but deep down loves it that Trump won again and was full-on conspiracy clowning about covid vaccines and the election being “stolen”.
It’s also very likely the divorce was the reason for the behavior. Getting lost in the sauce of that nonsense is a tragic but not unreasonable reaction to the trauma of divorce, or just being hurt by a woman. That ideology and the people who make money from it prey on weak, lost men for a reason. Thats what its designed to do.
I bet that is really fucked up because you might spend a long, long time trying to convince yourself that he would change back or just be less of an asshole. That’s a special sort of grief where they are still living but you’re mourning who they used to be.
You could be mixing up correlation and causation. The divorce could have happened for any number of reasons and the ensuing loneliness and alienation could have been what led the husband to seek validation in manosphere bullshit
you may be right in this specific case. when i said “i bet” i was taking a gamble. i based my gamble based on the sequencing of events i watched my friend go through. i’m sure you’re right that it’s played out the opposite direction, and that even for my friend her husband becoming authoritarian leadind to their divorce made her husband even more entrenched in that mindset.
I do understand that, it just seems like bringing up a random fact that has no bearing on the actual discussion and seems like it’s missing some additional context to actually be funny.
But, again, totally accepting that I’m the one it’s just not clicking with :)
Thanks for trying though, my skull must just be too thick!
Similar situation here (there is more than one situation, ofc), but wifey’s along for the ride too, and not in a trad wife way (they’re late 60s in age). Left them out of the pals’ xmas dinner because it’s become unbearable for everyone else.
It’s no fun losing decades-long relationships over whatever “this” is that’s happening.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
What’s weird about this broader “conversation” on masculinity is I feel more masculine than ever, despite not giving a flying fuck about any of this.
I never really struggled with it except as a teen, but the older I get the less I care.
—
I still say we made a mistake with communicating to men about feminism. We kind of left people who are terrible like Andrew Tate to dominate the conversation when people shut down men’s rights groups as de facto misogynistic, and now here we are.
What’s weird about this broader “conversation” on masculinity is I feel more masculine than ever
Same. The more I read stupid quotes from the Tates and Musk’s of the world, the more I feel like I’m doing something right with how I’m living my life, raising my kiddo, and engaging with my community.
Between that and a wider understanding/acceptance of neurodivergence, I’m feeling pretty comfortable in my own skin for the first time in a long time. And I’m ready to fight for women, minorities, and the LGBTQ+ communities to feel the same way.
Had a ex-friend who went real hard last year about feeling his masculinity has been challenged. Went deep into the manosphere language. He was extra annoying. Every convo was about how he, a white man in America, was being repressed. He started labelling random shit as masculine/feminine. Got sick this and stopped inviting him.
A few months later, I learned the divorce was finalized and he’s been sending me invites to hang with him in his bachelor pad. Nah dog you suck now.
yeah and i bet that shit was the reason for the divorce. i got a friend who lost her husband down the right wing rabbithole and now she’s processing the grief of losing someone she loved to something so goddamn stupid
This could have been me. For the longest time I was watching right wing YT channels without really realizing it because they were hiding their messaging well under legitimate critique of the movies and shows I was no longer enjoying. My girlfriend and I got into multiple arguments over this and I could tell that this was something we’d never agree on, which makes sense of course. Eventually I managed to pull myself out by unsubscribing from these channels ocne the messaging became a lot more clear (around 2021, you can probably guess why) and since then things have been much better between us and in general.
I’m proud of you for realizing something was off and correcting course. I know how easy it is to get sucked into that garbo. I got sucked in myself when I was a young teen. I genuinely don’t remember how I pulled myself out of it, but I’m glad I did because I’m positive my life would be miserable if I hadn’t.
i’m proud of you for waking up
I have found the subtle messaging in tutorials for software. They’re good at hiding it.
Yeah it’s honestly insane how much of it there is. Even channels that appear to be completely innocent at first can suddenly start veering in this direction. I remember watching someone like CinnamonToastKen when I was younger and it always used to be very generic fun for everyone content. But the last few years I started catching on to him saying more and more right leaning, conspiracy theory type stuff.
He made comments about the US (where he no longer even lives) keeps giving money to Ukraine instead of fixing their own problems, the “stolen election” and of course about Trump winning again. I really don’t understand why you have to make statements like that, you (on average) alienate about half of your audience by saying stuff like that. But oh well, a quick unsub and moving on.
They may alienate half of the audience, but the other half starts dumping truckloads of money on their doorstep.
and they are locked in thanks to the power of sunk cost fallacy
Maybe a weird thing to ask, but could you provide an example video/channel? I find these kinds of things very fascinating.
Like I said in another comment, Cinnamontoastken is one of them. Other ones (with varied levels of “hiding their messaging”) would be:
I’m sure there’s others but those were the ones I remember the most.
Edit: I just remembered another one, Asmongold. He’s close to being the worst one. He hides his opinions behind reaction content and video games, always acts like he’s a “neutral fencesitter” but deep down loves it that Trump won again and was full-on conspiracy clowning about covid vaccines and the election being “stolen”.
It’s also very likely the divorce was the reason for the behavior. Getting lost in the sauce of that nonsense is a tragic but not unreasonable reaction to the trauma of divorce, or just being hurt by a woman. That ideology and the people who make money from it prey on weak, lost men for a reason. Thats what its designed to do.
I bet that is really fucked up because you might spend a long, long time trying to convince yourself that he would change back or just be less of an asshole. That’s a special sort of grief where they are still living but you’re mourning who they used to be.
You could be mixing up correlation and causation. The divorce could have happened for any number of reasons and the ensuing loneliness and alienation could have been what led the husband to seek validation in manosphere bullshit
you may be right in this specific case. when i said “i bet” i was taking a gamble. i based my gamble based on the sequencing of events i watched my friend go through. i’m sure you’re right that it’s played out the opposite direction, and that even for my friend her husband becoming authoritarian leadind to their divorce made her husband even more entrenched in that mindset.
FYI: This is totally normal in France.
Any romance language country, really
TIL Klingon is not a romance language 😭
Germany woke af by having a gender-neutral pronoun already
What does that have to do with a situation that’s not in France?
It’s a joke about le vs la
I’m whooshing pretty hard because I still don’t understand what the joke is, but I’ll just assume that’s on me :)
Thanks for trying to help me understand!
French version of the article “the” changes if the noun is either feminine or masculine. Every noun in French is assigned to be masculine or feminine.
For example:
The book “le livre” would be masculine. The bookstore “la librairie” would be feminine
I do understand that, it just seems like bringing up a random fact that has no bearing on the actual discussion and seems like it’s missing some additional context to actually be funny.
But, again, totally accepting that I’m the one it’s just not clicking with :)
Thanks for trying though, my skull must just be too thick!
B-b-but ToLeRaNcE!!!
Similar situation here (there is more than one situation, ofc), but wifey’s along for the ride too, and not in a trad wife way (they’re late 60s in age). Left them out of the pals’ xmas dinner because it’s become unbearable for everyone else.
It’s no fun losing decades-long relationships over whatever “this” is that’s happening.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
What’s weird about this broader “conversation” on masculinity is I feel more masculine than ever, despite not giving a flying fuck about any of this.
I never really struggled with it except as a teen, but the older I get the less I care.
—
I still say we made a mistake with communicating to men about feminism. We kind of left people who are terrible like Andrew Tate to dominate the conversation when people shut down men’s rights groups as de facto misogynistic, and now here we are.
Same. The more I read stupid quotes from the Tates and Musk’s of the world, the more I feel like I’m doing something right with how I’m living my life, raising my kiddo, and engaging with my community.
Between that and a wider understanding/acceptance of neurodivergence, I’m feeling pretty comfortable in my own skin for the first time in a long time. And I’m ready to fight for women, minorities, and the LGBTQ+ communities to feel the same way.
The Big Insane Happy: