I was born with a nuchal cord times 4 that means umbilical cord wrapped around my neck 4 times. So really if you think about it, I’ve been trying to kill myself longer than I’ve been alive.
So I figured if they were gonna be like that they were at least gonna give me some Ativan, so I… earned me some Ativan. And Benadryl. And haldol. In the industry this is referred to as a B52 as in, Benadryl, 5mg of Haldol, and 2mg of Ativan. I did not get a B52, I got a B 10 and 4 (I really earned it) and woke up on the floor of (State hospital) with my back seized up from the haldol and ~*that’s how I found out they were hiring!*~
And after that I just kept working in mental health because I figured if I was going to be stuck in psych hospitals for the rest of my life I might as well have the keys.
And now I have ten more years of jokes like that. Many of them involve feces and I often forget not to tell them over dinner.
Reasons I don’t do standup:
And now I have ten more years of jokes like that. Many of them involve feces and I often forget not to tell them over dinner.