So I’m walking home, and there’s this little tiny bit of ice. Psssshhhhh big deal. I got this. I walk over worse ice than this every day! This is childs play! Bitch please!!! This ice ain’t nothin!!! Why you makin’ my life worried about ice? Ain’t nothin but a thaaaaang! Just some frozen water on the sidewalk! No big deal!

What I’m trying to express is that I was not concerned about a thin layer of ice on the sidewalk.

Well I step over it. I thought I stepped over it. I stepped on it. So I start slipping. No big deal, I’ll just position my other foot on the unpacked layer of snow, to get some traction. All of this took place in all of 0.5 seconds.

Well I do that, and turns out I stepped on MORE ice. So I’m like "oh shit, there’s a genuine chance I might fall here…oh, actually, I think I’m falling. I think I might legitimately be falling. OH SHIT I AM FALLING! I should prepare an impact stratagy. Ok. So basically I want to tuck my chin forward, spread my arms and shoulders, and curl my knees. That’s going to spread the point imact over a greater space while preventing my head from impact. Also, with curled knees, my legs shouldn’t break upon impact as long as I roll WITH the impact. I mean, worst case scenario, you get a bruise.

Yeah, I had all of 0.5 seconds to formulate that plan. So even though my instinct kicked in, and I did what I could, I didn’t have time to actually engage my plan. I just sort of slipped, and suddenly my knee hurts. Took the fall mostly on my knee. One second I’m up, and walking, the next I’m on the ground, wondering how I’m going to get up.

Now, it’s 3 hours later and my thumb really hurts. I didn’t even know my thumb was part of the landing. But it hurts now, and it’s purple. And it’s the biggest “injury” I got from the fall. Mild bruise on my knee, but my thumb is purple.

I made an owwie, and now I’m bored on the internet at 4AM. No I didn’t hit my head. I’m not loopy. I’m just a weird person. I’m eating potatoes.