If it weren’t for this happening often enough that I’ve run into it more times than I can count among not bright people,I would insist that this was fake fake.
But people are fucking stupid, and kids even moreso.
Older/bigger/stronger/smarter kid plays nice and let’s the kid with the disadvantage have a win. Someone fucks with them, even as a joke, and now they feel like shit, and go on to take that out on the kid they were trying to be nice to.
Shit rolls downhill.
In a situation like this, you still give the “winning” kid praise for effort (seriously, there’s studies on this shit, praise the effort, not the win or any supposed trait that gave them the win; they’ll value working for things more), then take the “losing” kid aside and give them props for putting in the effort to be considerate and uplifting of a sibling. If you don’t want to encourage “fake” wins, that’s cool, you impart that too, to not do it again for whatever reason, but you give them props for thinking with consideration of others.
Little shit like this matters to kids. Some of us forget those little events, but they still shape how we see the world. Those of us that remember the little things, good and/or bad, we just have the advantage of knowing what shaped us in part, it still already did the job.
>be me >father >have 2 kids, 18 and 12 >older autistic & unemployed >they arm wrestle and the older kid lets him win >rare time i'm proud of my older son >younger kid is proud and happy >gently tease my older boy about being weaker than a 12 year old >wife joins in >all's well and good >both leave to do something else 5 minutes later >seems too quiet... >decide to visit the boys' room >walk in and see older son mid kick >younger kid goes flying through the air >hits wall so hard it leaves a hole >has to go to the hospital >send older kid to live with my parents for a while is it too late to consider abortion bros?
