• curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    20 hours ago

    Okay, but as I noted, I used Drag’s pronouns.

    I wasn’t talking about you, I was referring to calling neopronouns “cosplaying”. Its intentionally disrespectful.

      • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        19 hours ago

        I didn’t say that, but I do think it would be good for you to reconsider your wording, especially considering you admit to not understanding, and then acknowledged later the relation to trans feelings and how the two can be related.

        But I’m not a “ban them” kind of guy. I’m more of a “remove their comment and explain” kind of guy.

        • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgM
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          19 hours ago

          My comment wasn’t intended to suggest that being trans is a form of gender cosplay, so I apologize if that was how it read.

          However, I will stand behind my statement that identifying as a totally different species is indeed pure fantasy that makes no real world sense to me.

          I do support it in the same vein that I support all creativity and fun. Furries-- fuck if I understand that, but if no one (or animal) is getting hurt, go wild and have a great time.

          That being said, if I was asked by a furry to only refer to them as a dog or cat in all real world scenarios because that’s the species they identify as, I simply cannot pander and think it’s a pretty unreasonable and fantastical expectation.

          • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            19 hours ago

            I’m going to stand behind my statement that you’re being demeaning for no reason then.

            Let’s try this. I’m going to just change a few words, and let’s see how this feels to you:

            That being said, if I was asked by a trans woman to only refer to them as a woman in all real world scenarios because that’s the gender they identify as, I simply cannot pander and think it’s a pretty unreasonable and fantastical expectation.

            That would be a pretty shitty take considering all we know about being trans, right?

            Why does it have to make sense to you for you to not be shitty about it?

            Why put so much effort in to be antagonistic rather than just acknowledge and either ignore and move on or refer to others as they’d prefer?

            I don’t consider it much different, personally. It doesn’t bother or offend me. It doesnt hurt me to call someone by whatever they want to be called.

            What I don’t feel is a need to be hurtful in reference to their feelings.

            • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgM
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              19 hours ago

              You can change all the words you want, but that’s not what I said, and I feel it’s insincere to suggest the two statements are equal.

              I’m allowed to draw a line and say, “this isn’t my burden to bear, and I don’t have to comply to simply avoid a rocked boat.”

              The offensive part to me I suspect is the same thing op finds offensive, which is the expectation that I am to comply with what is clearly someone’s fantasy in all shape and definition.

              We know gender identity is fluid and complex. We know sexuality is fluid and complex. The verdict is definitely way out there that species falls into this category, too.

              • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                19 hours ago

                I feel it’s insincere to suggest the two statements are equal.

                I think its insincere to suggest they aren’t. After all…

                what is clearly someone’s fantasy in all shape and definition.

                The verdict is definitely way out there that species falls into this column, too.

                These two statements seem to be completely opposed to each other.

                Not to mention, that same attitude was held towards trans folks for a long time, wasn’t it? That they couldn’t possibly feel that way, and it was just an expression of homosexuality?

                Anyway, I’m off for tonight, enjoy your night.

                • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgM
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                  19 hours ago

                  I was trying to be generous with the “verdict is way out there” part. There will never be a day where a human is actually a dragon.

                  I am aware of a woman who is also a cat. I watched her belly dance in a jungle to a track by the artist Deep Forest. It was the first time as a preteen that I realized how sensual women could be. Or rather, cat women.

                  • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                    10 hours ago

                    There are people who have the genuine belief in their “other” aspect of themselves. So thats how they prefer to be referred to. I think poking fun at that is unnecessary and wrong, its kind of as simple as that. Not something exclusive to this situation, just a pretty decent general rule.

                    What I would say the verdict is absolutely out on is a “why”, and the impact it has on individuals. So a bit of courtesy and basic decency is all thats needed.

              • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgM
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                19 hours ago

                Transracialism has way more merit than transpeciesism, though.

                I grew up amongst hispanic families, and definitely don’t find it far fetched to identify with a different race, culturally and behaviorally. So I could see it, even though it might be a bit misplaced.

                Like, that’s at least based in reality.

                • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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                  18 hours ago

                  But simply feeling Black or Hispanic doesn’t make one Black or Hispanic; race is a cultural issue and culturally defined. Yet by the other commenter’s arguments, feeling Black or Hispanic would be enough to make them unquestionably valid, because we cannot question the feelings of others.

                  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgM
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                    18 hours ago

                    My only point is that transracialism could at least be argued as having a real world basis, rooted in complex experiences of culture and race.

                    Identifying as a dragon, not so much…

              • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                19 hours ago

                Historical or modern?

                Or that the modern usage has some scientific basis, and its still being explored?

                Short answer - its a subject thats still being explored but has a degree of scientific support, so I see no reason to be mean about it.

                • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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                  19 hours ago

                  Short answer - its a subject thats still being explored but has a degree of scientific support, so I see no reason to be mean about it.

                  What the ever-loving fuck

                  • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                    19 hours ago

                    Princeton, about ten years ago. I’ll dig up the materials tomorrow if you want.

                    Like I said, I like reading scientific materials.

      • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        20 hours ago

        No, just an offhanded comment about them cosplaying.

        Would you say that a trans woman was “cosplaying being a woman”?

        • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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          20 hours ago

          No, but I’d say anyone who claimed to be a dragon was, at best, cosplaying being a dragon.

          On account of dragons not being real, for one.

          • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            20 hours ago

            … OK now youre being a dick for no reason too.

            I can’t comprehend it any more than I can being trans, but why not give them basic respect for how they feel, regardless of what you think about it?

            Is someone getting physically hurt by using neopronouns or by being respectful toward their feelings?

            Are you being hurtful by saying they are cosplaying, in the same way that it would be hurtful to someone who is trans?

            Thats kind of the line there dude. Your opinion on their lived experience is irrelevant, regardless of what I may think of it or you may think of it. Maybe they are a troll, maybe not.

            Does it really harm you to not be demeaning towards others about it though?

            • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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              20 hours ago

              … OK now youre being a dick for no reason too.

              … for asserting people can’t be dragons?

              I can’t comprehend it any more than I can being trans, but why not give them basic respect for how they feel, regardless of what you think about it?

              I can comprehend being trans. If I think about myself in a female body, trapped indefinitely, I feel horrified - like I would be alien in my own skin. That horror I feel is only abstract, and nothing compared to what trans people experience, but the principle is clear.

              Is someone getting physically hurt by using neopronouns or by being respectful toward their feelings?

              Again. At no point are neopronouns involved in this dispute.

              Are you being hurtful by saying they are cosplaying, in the same way that it would be hurtful to someone who is trans?

              Is it not hurtful to trans folk to equate their identities to someone who wants to play at being a dragon? Or more precisely, a dragonfucker?

              Thats kind of the line there dude. Your opinion on their lived experience is irrelevant, regardless of what I may think of it or you may think of it. Maybe they are a troll, maybe not.

              Does it really harm you to not be demeaning towards others about it though?

              Having opinions is demeaning?

              • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                20 hours ago

                … for asserting people can’t be dragons?

                That they can’t feel like they are on the inside. Yes.

                I can comprehend being trans. If I think about myself in a female body, trapped indefinitely, I feel horrified - like I would be alien in my own skin. That horror I feel is only abstract, and nothing compared to what trans people experience, but the principle is clear.

                Principle, but not full comprehension. You logically understand the concepts. You dont fully comprehend it, and neither do I.

                Just because I understand more relative to trans folks than I would for others that feel more unique doesn’t mean I can’t extend them the same basic respect and dignity though. If that’s how they feel, thats how they feel.

                Again. At no point are neopronouns involved in this dispute.

                Other than derogatory comments around them, like “cosplaying” as noted above. Yes.

                Is it not hurtful to trans folk to equate their identities to someone who wants to play at being a dragon? Or more precisely, a dragonfucker?

                Ah, so you speak for all trans folks then? Despite not being trans? Your basic understanding of the principles of being trans gives you the keen knowledge and insight to decide how all trans folks should feel relative about what someone else thinks of themselves on the inside?

                Right. Cmon man. Youre better than this.

                Having opinions is demeaning?

                Like most other things in life - it depends on the presentation.

                And yeah, I’d say even in this comment chain you’ve been pretty damn demeaning. Obviously my opinion, and to be clear I don’t think you are at all a bad person.

                But this, overall - yeah man you’ve got a really shitty take on this one. Its worth you spending time thinking about rather than reacting more, IMO.

                • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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                  20 hours ago

                  That they can’t feel like they are on the inside. Yes.

                  Okay? There are people who feel like they have bugs on the inside. That neither means that they have bugs on the inside, nor does it mean that treating having bugs on the inside as the same as gender identity is in any way, shape, or form valid.

                  Principle, but not full comprehension. You logically understand the concepts. You dont fully comprehend it, and neither do I.

                  At that point, you can’t ‘truly’ comprehend anything, so there should be no judgement or distinctions made regarding other people.

                  Ah, so you speak for all trans folks then? Despite not being trans? Your basic understanding of the principles of being trans gives you the keen knowledge and insight to decide how all trans folks should feel relative about what someone else thinks of themselves on the inside?

                  No? I asked you a question.

                  If you can’t answer the question, how can you proffer a negative answer to it?

                  But this, overall - yeah man you’ve got a really shitty take on this one. Its worth you spending time thinking about rather than reacting more, IMO.

                  Fuck, man, I’ve thought and argued about this for years. I thought we left this behind in the early 2010s when Tumblr was doing turtlegender and babygender. “You haven’t spent enough time thinking about gender” is bullshit, unless my entire adult life isn’t long enough. I’ve put in time, thought, and the reading to understand trans and NB issues on at least a basic level so that I could fully support them in the political arena. When someone comes at me about perverts ‘deciding’ to change genders, I have a wealth of knowledge and constructed arguments to draw on. I’m not throwing this out there from some airy, just-learned-about-NB-identities position.

                  • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                    20 hours ago

                    I’m just going to skip ahead, because the earlier parts I feel like are just a rehash of the part you’re skipping over.

                    “You haven’t spent enough time thinking about gender”

                    Not what I said.

                    I said you should think about your attitude around it. You should think about why you feel you need to be derogatory about it.

                    Its a pointless thing to be mean about. If its how someone feels, its how someone feels. If its someone being a troll, just being generally polite and considerate and not needing to shove your opinion on them or others is not going to feed troll behavior.

                    What I’m suggesting you reflect on is why you’re being demeaning about it, rather than just acknowledging and moving on.