I’d make it so that liquid soap dispensers sounded like they were struggling to nut quietly each time you pressed down.

  • spitz
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    7710 months ago

    I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: “may your laundry never dry”. That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.

    • föderal umdrehen
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      1810 months ago

      Don’t bother with steps that are each different — making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it’s probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.

    • @[email protected]
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      710 months ago

      That was actually a thing in castle design. There’d be one step just high enough compared to the others that an assassin chasing the king would hopefully stumble on it, and the king could turn around and stab the assassin.

    • krellor
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      510 months ago

      I’m sure you mean all the heights are a little different, but I’m envisioning where every step has to be taller than the previous one and the shenanery that would happen to make long stair cases navigable. Start with teeny tiny steps to end with uncomfortably large ones.

  • @[email protected]
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    10 months ago

    You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?

    That, but there’s no actual pebble.

  • Chef_Boyargee
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    2310 months ago

    No matter how hard one squeezes, there’s ALWAYS three or four drops of pee leftover, poised to strike after one finishes their business.

  • all-knight-party
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    2210 months ago

    Make it so that when you arrive home you’re never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.

    Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot…

      • @epyon22
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        110 months ago

        Surviving adhd’er does a “spot” count if my keys are always attached to my pants?

        • all-knight-party
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          310 months ago

          As the rulemaker I’d say that’s fair game, but you’d have to keep them strapped to your pajamas otherwise that’s when you’d need to find a spot.

    • KingJalopy
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      210 months ago

      Did this already happen? Because I never put them in the same place and am constantly rushing to find them lol.

    • @Sadrockman
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      210 months ago

      I think my wife has this curse already.

      • Bizarroland
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        110 months ago

        The good thing I can say is that Bob died laughing.

        The bad thing is that if he hadn’t been laughing so much he might not have been standing there laughing when the wind threw a telephone pole at him.

  • @[email protected]
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    1910 months ago

    Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.

  • Thelsim
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    1910 months ago

    You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
    Pretty awkward if you ask me :)

  • @gravitas_deficiency
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    1510 months ago

    USB-C now has the same connector directionality problem that USB-A does

    • @[email protected]
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      910 months ago

      Id like to think it would still work both ways mechanically, but would be one sided electrically.

      • @[email protected]
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        210 months ago

        Funnily enough, there are cases where that occurs. The Zed Mini is a great example, where the orientation of the cable affects it’s ability to fully utilise USB bandwidth. I don’t recall the reason off the top of my head, but I have shared stories with a number of people in the computer vision sector who have torn their hair out over those cameras only to discover that they don’t work properly when the cable is “upside down”

      • @[email protected]
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        110 months ago

        Depending on the device side connector and how the PCB is designed it actually can be orientation-dependent.

  • @[email protected]
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    1510 months ago

    Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.

    Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there’s a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.

    • @PsychedSy
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      310 months ago

      Women are already scarce in IT.