Perhaps not really helpful, but from experience I can tell you, if you live long enough the technology and lifestyle of now will be what future generations won’t get to experience. If you’re thinking, “but now sucks!” well that’s probably what people who lived in those previous times would say to you.

You may spend too much time and energy wondering about the what-ifs and too little making the best of your life, but at least you’re not one of those people who completely close themselves off to wonder and empathy and anything outside themselves.

If you manage to channel your fascination and create a time travel vessel, bon voyage and don’t tell anyone, because for sure someone will weaponize it.

go out and find a leaf that only you have seen. don’t come back until y you have touched it

First of all, I think most people think about those things at least occasionally, it’s totally normal and part of the curious nature of humans and many other mammals.

You mention “I can’t ever just stop thinking and relax. My brain is so fucked.” which indicates that this is a real problem affecting your mental health. I think you could benefit from going to therapy specifically about anxiety, or at least start with implementing some of the basic principles.

Worrying about things you can’t control, or can’t influence, while completely normal, can be quite destructive. Try to reframe these in your head. Don’t be anxious because you might never know the answer, let yourself be freed by the fact that you don’t have to do anything about it. All those things you mentioned are really awe inspiring. Things to wonder and imagine. That could be a positive thing in your life, part of the great mysteries of humanity, not something to be upset about.

Focus on the things in your life that you can control. You can study, practice music, write stories, etc. So many many things you can control, so don’t be upset about what you can’t. Be happy with what you can.

Maybe you could directly transform your anxiety into creativity here. If you’re so consumed by these things, write a short sci-fi story about if the world was a simulation, etc. There’s a reason why people with anxiety or ADHD tend to be creative. Just an idea.

Nah, I learned apathy from a young age. I only care about what I choose to care about.

Yes, but not like that, not with my mortality, I’m quite ok with that. My constant existential crisis is that I am psychologically unable to live “now” with the irreverence it deserves.

In other words, I’m worried about doing absurdism wrong, which is absolutely ridiculous.

The simulation part is hitting me a lot lately, especially being so active online. I do individual choices IRL where I randomly happen to see others do them too. It’s like the algorithm is controlling everyone at a massive scale.

Right there with you, brother (or sister.)

I’m heavily not religious, but my own personal head cannon for what I want an “afterlife” to be like is to just essentially be a ghost. But not bound to any specific location and be able to ignore most laws of the universe. Not having to worry about human essentials like eating, drinking, bathroom, time, etc. And just be able to experience the rest of the world AND be able to travel outside of earth and discover the vastness of space and onward.

I don’t really believe in this, but it’s just what I would want if ever given a choice.

• Definitely, also not being able to see things with my eyes, like a new planet or even just Mars and walking on it.
• Yes, even though I like who I’ve become, it sucks.
• This is extremely bothering to me especially for stuff like murders, bombings etc…
• Incredibly disappointing, I would do anything to know everything.
• No because I don’t believe this is a simulation, although it is somehow related to 4 so… yeah…
• It doesn’t matter to me
• I don’t really care about the things themselves, but not being able to go back in time to see how stuff actually happened bothers me a lot

Oh I feel this. All of my life has been a constant struggle with the limits of my mortal physical existence, and I can’t really accept I’ll never experience all I want to.

Yup

I used to. But eventually I made peace with myself - no matter how much I fret over them, there are things I’ll never know or experience.

I probably need to thank Huxley for that, if not for Island I’d be probably stuck living in the past or the future. Or both at the same time.