The ability to inflict my suicidal depression, sans the medication or benefits of years of therapy, into the minds of anyone I hate.

The ability to focus on stuff i am supposed to do

I can play the kazoo really well, like Hendrix level kazoo playing.

I can shapeshift.

Idk friends, I’m tired. Person who replies, please give me something cool.

The outcome I most want, when random chance is involved, will always occur if I first say the words “hoodoo moogoo”

Your butthole is now sealed shut

I can pause time in order to write as much code as I want without interruption.

With the snap of my fingers I can instantly cause the death of authoritarian dictators.

My superpower is pain

Ability to teleport any words I want into the mind of someone who is broadcasting or streaming anything over internet or radio or tv, that I currently watch or listen, as long as the broadcast is going on. For them it would be like hearing me as if I was in the same room. They won’t know anything about me other than realize I’m one of their listeners or viewers. It works only for one person at a time - the streamer/broadcaster or one of them. They can choose to tell other listeners what they heard, or not.

The entire superman set, minus kryptonite

Real life Ctrl+Z

I have a remote control for time.

i can delete one square meter wnywhere in the world and it just deletes the matter that was there