Edit: I have to commute 1,5 hours oneway to get to work. HomeOffice is allowed 2 times a week. So I am leaving when my son is still in bed and come back when he is in bed again. Thing is, the money is good and the job is kind of a dream job for me.

Edit2: Wow! Thank you for your comments. These are exactly the thoughts Inhad in my mind, but couldn’t point my fingers on them. Unfortunately there is no way to get more days wfh, because high management says so. So i came to the descision to either ask for part time or get the new job asap

  • ConditionOverload
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    1810 months ago

    I think you should look into trying to move closer to where you work. If that’s not possible then look for a different job, set it up first, then go ahead with quitting this one.

    • @annegreen
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      110 months ago

      This is definitely the most reasonable approach.

  • @[email protected]
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    1510 months ago

    I was on similar threads on Reddit where 90% of the replies were: “do it! do it! who gives a fuck! do it!”, and here the replies seem to be 90% “actually we care about what happens to you, so let’s weigh the pros and cons”. I guess it says a lot about the difference between both communities. 😉

    • @5redie8
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      210 months ago

      This place is such a breath of fresh air isn’t it lol

  • @[email protected]
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    1310 months ago

    Don’t quit unless you have a new job first. I had a friend quit first and he’s still looking over 8 months later.

    • justhach
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      110 months ago

      Yep. The old adage is “its easier to find work when you’re working”

      I’ve always found it harder to find a job when I was not working vs. when I was.

  • @[email protected]
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    1010 months ago

    The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that just because you are spreading your resume around you have to leave eventually. Actively pursue other opportunities while still giving your current job all the attention it warrants.

    I last started looking for a job because I had an asshole manager, but didn’t find anything worth leaving over, so I stayed. That guy eventually failed upwards, out of my management chain. But I eventually got hooked up with my current job based on that search. I wouldn’t say it’s a dream job, but it’s definitely better.

  • TragicNotCute
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    910 months ago

    It’s a tough market at the moment, so it’s never a bad time to start looking, but I wouldn’t quit until I had something in hand

  • morgan423
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    810 months ago

    For me a few factors would be prevalent, I’d have several questions to ask myself.

    1. What type of commuting? If you’re driving, that’s a very large time sink of 9 hours a week with little opportunity to do anything worthwhile with it. But if you’re on a train, then maybe you can work some entertainment and enhancement into your commute time because you have the gift of attention, and that time wouldn’t go fully to waste. Buy a Steam Deck and play games on the way in and home. Or bring a novel to read. Or find some professional development materials online to bring with you, and skill up as you travel. Anything but allowing that time to bleed into the void.

    2. Might your company be open to giving you more home working time? Even three days at home weekly versus two is a HUGE quality of life difference. One day office, or fully remote, even better still. If your role definitely doesn’t have to be physically there, and you would save your company office space for other uses, you may be able to make a pretty good business case, if you can find the tangible wins for your employer.

    3. Failing all that, I’d check around to see if I could land a similar role at a different company that allowed full remote or less office time. Even if you take a slight pay cut, remember that reclaiming that commute time is valuable (both in the time itself and the lessening of expenses, like wear and tear and fuel for a vehicle, or 150 round trip train tickets and external lunches a year, et cetera) and should be weighed into what you’re “really” making.

    4. Above all, if you decide a change is in order, have your new thing lined up first. The economy is tightening almost everywhere right now and if you’re unemployed, it can take quite a while to get a preferable new job lined up. Do that work on the side while in your current job if you decide to do it.

    Apologies for the book, this is just fresh for me, I was doing all of this analysis up until a few months ago, when my company pivoted from three days a week in the office (which was wrecking me) to two days a month, solving my dilemma. We’re obviously not the same people with identical lives, but I thought some insight from someone who’d recently had the same situation might help. Best of luck to you!

  • @[email protected]
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    810 months ago

    I don’t have advice, I just can’t understand why more companies don’t allow WFH full time. The company I work for went WFH at the start of the quarantine in 2020. We are currently doing better than ever, and going to the office remains completely optional.

    • @[email protected]
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      310 months ago

      So did my company. But I’m under no illusion. They didn’t do it for their employees, they did it to save money. They ended up closing about 12 offices in CA alone saving millions in leases and utility costs. Doesn’t really matter to me though, as long as I get to stay home.

  • Jo
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    710 months ago

    If your employer would not want to lose you, think about what would make it work better for you and then talk to your manager. More days WFH, or shorter hours on days you’re in the office, or a big fat relocation package, or whatever works for you.

    If they can’t/won’t help, don’t quit until you have another job lined up. Make sure they know it’s why you’re leaving.

  • @[email protected]
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    610 months ago

    Write down on a bit of paper “I want to spend more time with my son, I can always find another job”, then flip it over and write “I’m going to spend my time on work, I can always have another kid” and see how you feel.

  • @[email protected]
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    510 months ago

    Tough one. But here’s how I would decide.

    3 days a week of not being able to see your kid is a big price to pay. You can do it if it is meaningfully taking you somewhere. To the next level. Something. But can you keep doing this forever? I couldn’t. I’d only be able to do it for a finite period because it would move the needle on our lives somehow.

  • @[email protected]
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    410 months ago

    Can you use your home office days to look for other work that’s closer to home or is wfh? A commute like that is incomprehensible to me. I’m lucky enough that I have never worked more than 20 minutes from my house, and I don’t even apply to jobs that are further away. I understand not everyone can do that she to their industry and costs of living in certain areas, but 3 hours a day of commute is brutal.

    In my mind, if you’re missing out on time with your family, especially your child, it’s a no brainier. But, because you have a family to support, you should find a new job before you quit this one. A job you like and quality time at home is better than your dream job and missing all the milestones of growing up.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      210 months ago

      Yeah it is working from home. I already updated my cv and sent it out on multiple platforms to potential employers.So i am waiting for feedback here. But in the meantime i suffer

  • @[email protected]
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    410 months ago

    Don’t quit your dream job. You have 4 days per week at home and a job you love. That is a dream to a lot of people.

    • @[email protected]
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      410 months ago

      This. And you can move closer if you intend to keep this job and have a pretty good feeling that they won’t fire you. Especially if you’re currently renting, just look at closer rentals when your lease is coming up.

    • @[email protected]
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      10 months ago

      I guess that’s really the POV you need to look at. There are 7 days a week and you only have to travel on 3 of them. That’s better than most people. I am a firefighter and I don’t see my home for 3 days a week. Sounds crazy but I love my schedule compared to family/friends that are gone 5 days a week through the day. They may sleep in their bed at night, but that’s about it.

      • @[email protected]
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        110 months ago

        That’s how my boys have grown up. It’s a different life, and not an easy one. Mostly it’s the 48+ hr shifts that are rough.

  • @[email protected]
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    310 months ago

    Can you bump the morning start for a late start, and just finish later? Would it reduce the commute time by being off peak? Having mornings with your son is not bad.