Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat
equalistmako
“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D. ”
seasonoftowers
Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.
thatickything
well you did ask
defilerwyrm(Profile badge × 8)
Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs.
A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.
mrtacomam
you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN
kariachi
Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 Ibs of meat.
pulltheotheroneithasbellson
plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.
blueandbluer(Profile badge × 10)
Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.
the-unnecessary-commentary
Tumblr is a multipolyhedron and we keep discovering newer sides.
Either that or it’s an infinite onion.
Tumblr post transcription:
disgruntledturtle
Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat
equalistmako
“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D. ”
seasonoftowers
Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.
thatickything
well you did ask
defilerwyrm (Profile badge × 8)
Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.
mrtacomam
you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN
kariachi
Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 Ibs of meat.
pulltheotheroneithasbellson
plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.
blueandbluer (Profile badge × 10)
Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.
the-unnecessary-commentary
Tumblr is a multipolyhedron and we keep discovering newer sides. Either that or it’s an infinite onion.
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