So…
I’ve always been quiet and never had much sex. That has changed. I’m in the kind of phase that people look at me and say: “You were so nice! What went wrong!?” And now I’ll have sex with men, women, hookers escorts, trannys not fully transitioned MtoF transsexuals, robots, I’ll probably engage in BDSM, piss play, breath play, and other exotic activities. I won’t engange in drugs/chemsex that’s where I draw the line.
Thus, the advice I’ve always been given and followed looks a little inadequate. Somehow saying to just use condoms, pills and IUD looks like insufficient knowledge to the kind of behavior I’ll engage in.
Therefore I need to up my game into sex ed and STIs knowledge and prevention. I’ve been looking inton PrEP, but I really need to read more about diseases and prevention to protect myself and be able to treat myself if I catch something.
Any suggestion of videos, books, and other learning resources that goes beyond the “just use a condom and have a single partner?”
Lol, I’m the exact opposite of you - never had sex even once. So what’s your secret? Don’t tell me you’re attractive?
I’m the least attractive guy you’ll ever meet, I have zero self confidence, big social anxiety, and mild ASD. I have the personality of a disgruntled cat. Somehow even I have managed to not only have sexual partners, but also now I’m married and have two kids. This is not meant to be bragging at you, putting you down or rubbing it in. I am saying don’t dispair, it can happen, and it does happen, and there is no secret, it’s got nothing to do with being attractive.
You’re never as ugly as you think you are. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Well, my mum says I’m handsome, does that count?
You don’t have to be that attractive. While attraction does matter and does help, personality plays a huge, huge role. I’m bi and find most people to be physically attractive in their own way, but only a small minority of people have attractive personalities.
You may also want to check the sexual-asexual realm of possibilities. Watching sex, wanting to have sex, pursuing the act of sex and actually having it are very different things that may or may not be your cup of tea.
There a ton of different ways to get laid. And depending on what your looking for, there are different requirements.
Most commonly people who don’t get laid are looking for some level of intimacy with someone that actually finds them attractive. Which means that hookers are not an option.
Commonly people in this category have two issues (I’m probably projecting :P, but I don’t have much to work on):
Standards too high. Just like poor people try to become billionaires. Sexless people wish for a harem of super models. Practice flirting with less attractive women until you learn to connect with women on a deeper level which will make lowering your standards to reasonable levels easier.
You’re unattractive. A bit similarly to #1, influencers and your own expectations for a partner are warping your perception of how attractive you need to be. Seeing as the level of attractiveness you wish you had is completely unattainable, you give up or you look for ineffective shortcuts.
Don’t worry so much, work on the basics: good hygiene, not terrible clothes, some level of social competence, a minimal amount of confidence. The minimum requirements are far lower than what you’d expect or what most people would think.
(Note being financially stable also helps in terms of minimum requirements for attractiveness, but it’s not like you need the incentive of getting laid to want to be financially stable).
Keep working on both #1 and #2 and eventually they meet and you get laid and have a good time!
I honestly think it has a lot more to do with projected confidence (not to be confused with arrogance) than any amount of attractiveness or financial stability.
Like, it’s easier to get someone else to want to be with you, if they see that you’re confident and comfortable with yourself first.