If someone knows how to deal with crap like this…help me!
Meditation can help. Therapy can help. Doing something engaging to distract yourself can help (ideally something that isn’t gonna make you feel worse in the end, playing with a pet or listening to music > binging on junk food or booze)
Remember that you can’t control whether crappy things happen but you choose how you react to them. (Of course, easier said than done)
As someone with ADHD I hear you but FML is the meditation angle such contrived bullshit. Like biiiiiitch I can’t go 1 minute without moving or mind racing or anything else.
Now for people with ADHD like me. What I found helps me is running. Running is the only time I am at peace. All my senses are being activated at once and therefore I’m at my calmest.
Edit - also want to add that running is solitary. So I also get to say “fuck off” to the rest of the world.
I also have ADHD and a chattery mind! Running works for you, so defs don’t stop! But I have an issue with the meditation issue, and I think you think that way because they didn’t tell you that it’s totally normal for your mind to wander, the only difference is that your mind will wander more. You’re doing nothing wrong, that’s just what minds do, even neurotypical ones, just to a lesser degree than what you experience.
All you have to do is guide your mind back to focusing on whatever meditation you’re doing with an endless kindness and compassion that you would have for like some adorable puppy or baby that’s trying to wander away. They don’t mean to do wrong, but they also can’t be reasoned with. you just have to guide them back to the right place.
With all that said, if it’s still a bunch of contrived hippie sounding bs to you, feel free to disregard! Running works, and it’s also not like this is super important for you to try out or anything like that.
I think meditation does have legit benefits, I just don’t think it’s often taught with that compassion angle that I think makes it possible for people with ADHD to do it. And even if what I’m doing is not “real” meditation, whatever it is, it’s an extended moment of niceness.
All you have to do is guide your mind back to focusing on whatever meditation you’re doing with an endless kindness and compassion that you would have for like some adorable puppy or baby that’s trying to wander away. They don’t mean to do wrong, but they also can’t be reasoned with. you just have to guide them back to the right place.
100%! Acknowledge the thought and then let it go. It isn’t about perfect execution. The benefits come from trying. Although, it can get easier with practice.
And even if what I’m doing is not “real” meditation, whatever it is, it’s an extended moment of niceness.
FWIW I took a multi week class on meditation with a licensed psychologist (who trained with the folks who wrote a very popular book on meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy) and what you’re saying sounds a lot like what we were taught. There may not be a single arbiter of meditation authenticity, but your practice sounds legit to me.
I think running is very similar to meditation for a lot of people, just in motion instead of standing still lol
I also hate the excessive hype around meditation. I think what matters is finding something to focus on. If people prefer to stay immobile and pretend to think about nothing good for them, but you can also focus by doing sports, arts, cooking, reading etc. and, in my opinion, those come with bigger benefits for your health and mind.
Yeah, we’re all different and there’s no one size fits all. I find meditation helpful, when I remember to actually do it, but I hate running with the white hot hatred of a thousand suns. :)
I find that meditation does get easier with practice. I’ve been told that running also gets easier with practice but even when I was a pretty healthy and HWP teenager, every single week of cross country was as miserable as the last.
Maybe try cycling? I can’t run well, but cycling is fun and much less painful than running for me.
And I would add, practice. A continuous practice of the things you stated. Healthy things in moderation.
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Clearly I’m in good company.
Masterbate
It’s spelled Masterbait.
This may seem like a “generic answer”… but “be happy of what you already are right now” does wonders. Because that happens when your need of self-validation is “hurted” by that bad situation you went through.
It’s thanksgiving in Canada too! Good time to sit back and give thanks for what you have and good things that have happened to you.
Meditate.
I’m not a hippy freak. I have a mood disorder and struggle with intense emotions. Meditation will knock that shit out of your mind so fast your head will spin.
Do you have a informational/technique resources you recommend?
this video helped me get started.
trying to understand what he was trying to describe was difficult at first, but the relief I felt after it clicked was great.
Do something that you can immediately enjoy and it’s sufficiently distracting for you to give you a moment to completely forget about it
When my wife and I did our government paperwork for or marriage, the parking meter ate one of our coins, and we missed the time by like 2 minutes and ran outside to see someone writing us a ticket.
So now she remembers the day we got married as the day we got a parking ticket.
It wasn’t even the day of our wedding. That was a different day. We did the paperwork ahead of time to get it out of the way. We just did the paperwork that day, and it’s all she remembers.
Has she been tested for autism or adhd? This literally could be an explanation. Greetings, an autistic sympathizer. :)
… and my disappointment is immeasurable.
I can’t let it go. It’s to important.
Sources:
