I actually liked that bit. I never got tired of Barry, and Other Barry.

Anecdote; sometimes when my husband mutters and I can’t tell if he’s muttering or I just didn’t hear him, he’ll say, “I was talking to myself. I’m the only one who knows the answer to that question,” and he says it as if frustrated. I later realized he’s usually asking himself where he left something (like his glasses, or a tool) or why he’s doing something inefficiently, and I always thought that was actually pretty empowering.

“I know I can solve this question, I’m just asking it out loud to help me focus.” He only seems frustrated when someone thinks he’s asking them. Which detracts from the focus.

We’re both neurospicy so I love that. “I can do this. I have the tools to figure out this tiny problem. I am reinforcing to myself, out loud, that I’ve got this.”

So since I talk to myself all the time I started reinforcing that I can solve it, too. Instead of saying, “You’re fucking this up,” which is negative self-talk, I say to myself the question of why or where, in a calm, positive tone. “Where did I leave that cat food,” becomes, “You know you have trouble remembering those things so let’s play detective and find it.” It’s a lot faster, too, than taking a short break to be mean to myself.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.