https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/category/comic/education-comic/how-to/

These web comics actually taught me a lot about everything.

OP, first thing is terminology. Yes, cosmo and the like have referred to the prostate as “the male g-spot”, but you’re better off using accurate terminology. You are looking for a “prostate massager”, “prostate toy”, or “prostate wand”. You’ll have an easier time finding products if you use those terms.

Personally I would recommend looking into a buttplug training set. It meets your criteria for what your looking for and is solely designed to help those who are new to exploring that specific part of their body.

They typically come in sets of three increasing sizes to help ease yourself into the sensations and because of the use-case are always a safe material. Brands really don’t matter all that much, but they commonly come in metal or glass. Both are fine, but metal can be a bit…cold sometimes. If you intend to leave them in for long periods of time, avoid a flat base style as it will irritate your exterior skin over time. The sets are usually very reasonably priced, maybe a max of $(US)30 depending on where you shop.

Once you know a bit more about what you want you can move to a more specific tool/toy depending on what you like best about the play, but this should help give you a baseline so that you don’t do too much too fast.

You might want to look at Njoy plugs, Aneros products, or similar items. There’s one article here that’s worth reading and another here.

I personally stay away from connected or Bluetooth types since they require an app that can collect the most personal of data and send it off to who-knows-where, but that’s just me.

You could listen to some Podcasts or similar things.

I listened to The Future of Sex Podcast. They have an episode on “Orgasms and the Stigma of Male Sex Toys” from December, 9th, 2020. It also brushes on prostate play. I don’t really know if there are better Podcasts or educational material in english, as this is not my native language.

Amazon sells those, too. But there are probably cheaper (specialized) stores. You could have a look at the reviews, though.

Edit: Glad you’re getting out of that abstinence-only thing. Sex is an important part of being human. And abstinence is really a bad approach.

Sticking things into your butt isn’t something beginners usually do, though. You do you. Take it slow and use plenty of lube. I’m not sure if those toys are made so you can sit down.

Check out https://www.aneros.com/ you also might be able to find similar styles for less money.

They have what you are describing as well as lots of resources to help you on your journey.

Vibration is not required, for some it overstimulates, but it can be fantastic. One thing you mentioned wear"head space" and this will be important in getting where you want to go, but it helps to learn how to relax your mind and be in the moment.

Also checkout r/prostateplay on Reddit, there is tons of useful information and a great community to learn from, I haven’t found a replacement on Lemmy yet.

You can actually get anal plugs that have ball bearings in them that bounce around as you move, so you get vibration without electric parts.

But ultimately, it’s just something you’ve gotta try a few different things until you find something that works for your body. There’s a few hundred silicone prostate massagers out there.

The way I searched was using AliExpress. They’re the exact same thing as the $10-20 ones on Amazon for $2-5, if you can wait a few weeks.

I’d recommend getting a set to start with until you find what insertable length works best for you. Unfortunately, whomever designs the toys seem to think that longer massagers need to be thicker too, so you might need to work up to one.