Thanks, I’ll have a look!

small contracts would definitely be good for me. I live quite simple, so usually a few days per week (with decent pay) is enough for me. I’m not sure where to look for such contracts though.

Usually freelancing platforms seem to be a race to the bottom, not really for people who want to do custom coding, but more for people with specific knowledge in wordpress or such who can make a website for cheap.

What places would people typically look for finding such contracts? I don’t really have connections in the country I’m in at the moment.

I think for me the difficulty lies in picking back up afterwards. I’m totally ok letting myself relax and distract myself when I’m not feeling well, but I have to build up all my habits again afterwards.

It’s quite difficult if you want to build up some good habits and every few weeks you are just completely knocked out for several days. It makes everything in live harder, I feel.

Hey, doing better already here. (At least no longer sick) Although I still have frequent days where it seems like I cannot get anything done.

I think a big part of the problem for me is that I don’t really allow myself enough rest. Even when sick, I tend to try and rest by playing games, watching movies or reading stuff online. But if I can manage to just stop myself and do nothing (really nothing) for 30 minutes, that seems to help so much more.

I hope you find a way to get up and running again so you can prepare for your concert and trip. But it’s also fine if you don’t, I think. You will get through it either way, good luck!

Maybe it’s similar for me, I don’t really feel like I could do the things I like for 8 hours, let alone work for that amount of time. But you would expect a more constant feeling of dread in those cases, not really random moments like this. But perhaps I’m wrong.

How do you deal with it? Have you found anything that helps?

For me, meditation seems to help it a bit with noticing my feelings/body, but I still can’t distinguish between a lot of sensations. While other people I know can even tell what specific meal they want based on what ‘kind’ of hunger they feel.

I’m not sure if that’s the issue for me. I usually feel better when lying down. But people with gastro reflux often have more issue lying down, no?

It’s true, but that’s exactly why you would need this no? Places where people can share skills and help each other, because you don’t have money left to replace or buy new things.

I realise that a big part of the difficulties I experienced was because I never really took a moment to sit still and check whether what I was doing made sense. Like, is this actually what I want to do, is this even good for me? (mentally and physically)

I finally got the time to think a bit, and it made so much difference. At the beginning you still feel a lot of pressure from yourself, because obviously there is a financial part to it. But even beyond that, I noticed I always wanted to be doing something productive (Like doing exercise, making better food, learning some skill, etc.)

After a while (and doing a bit more meditation), the perspective started to shift and I started to realise that most things are much more bearable, if not even fun, when you start just taking your time, not rushing yourself, not trying to optimise everything. This applies to work, but also hobbies, like gaming and browsing the internet. Even gaming becomes stressful if you are always looking for the next goal, the next target and your start filling hours upon hours with that activity.

Talking with other people seems to put this into perspective. It’s so easy to tell somebody else to not worry about something and take it easy. But then you realise that they could give that same advice to you and it would still apply. Sometimes just acting/talking towards yourself with the same concern and compassion that you show other people (even strangers) can be so helpful.

Thanks man. Ended up going and it was really nice to share experiences and frustrations. Glad I decided to go.

I actually went today. It was nice. It’s surprising how respectful and accommodating everyone was. I’ve never really experienced something like that with people at work and such.

Yeah, I very much tend to overthink and think in terms of worst case situations. Strange thing is that, even when I know the worst case is not really an issue, I still feel like it’s so hard. Especially in social situations I can never really get rid of that little panic/tension that seems to stay present.

Thanks, I definitely know the feeling of delaying reaching out. I’ve basically dealt with all my issues on my own in the first 20 years of my life, even didn’t really talk to family about it. (didn’t really talk in general) And I’m more and more aware of how difficult i’ve made things for myself by doing that. Not that it’s easy, but everytime I talk about it, it’s useful in some way.

Is it possible to sharpen with a higher grit. Like 4k/6k if my knife is quite dull and has some chips? A colleague lend me his stone, but it seems very fine, so either my technique is bad, or it’s too fine to sharpen my knife.

That sounds pretty good actually.

I also find that online, there are so many ‘recipes’ which ask for specific ingredients and spices. But when I don’t have one of those ingredients, I’m not good at substituting (definitely not when sick and not thinking straight)

Instead, I would like to have some guidelines for cooking. Where they just show you some general steps, like 1. grab 3 vegetables from your and cook them in a pot in this way. Then fry a protein in this way. And boom, there is a meal.

I’m getting better at this already, but improvising can be difficult sometimes when you have to think too much.

Oh yeah. The moment I discovered Obsidian, I spent like three days non-stop just making notes and creating a structure to fit my thoughts. Nowadays I take it a bit more relaxed. But it’s still great to keep track of projects and administrative things.

I even just link pdfs with invoices, bills, etc… in my notes, so I never have to search in folders on my computer. Just search for the ‘electricity’ note, and there are my energy bills. Very handy.

The only disadvantage I’ve found with digital notetaking is that it’s not really visible unless you check it (or remind yourself somehow to check it) For example I have a note with a FAQ for myself to check when I feel bad and the common ways I found that help me. But I never remember to check this note when I’m really sick.

Also just having to open my laptop or phone to write/read notes is a moment of potential distraction. Computers and phones can be used for so much more, and when I’m not feeling good it’s easy to get dragged into distractions like reading articles online or playing games, watching videos.

So I would say during the somewhat bad days, these tools help me a lot. But during the real bad days, they are actually more difficult for me to use as intended.

Instead, I now just keep a pocketable notebook with my tasks for the day, and calendar with my appointments. It’s faster for writing something down quickly and more flexible. And it also keeps my todo list manageable, because there is a limit as to how much space I have for each day.

For projects, references and administration, I still put everything inside obsidian though. Usually prompted by a note in my pocket notebook.

During the past year, my favorite food has become greek yoghurt with cruesli (and sometimes jam or honey). It’s so easy to prepare and (I feel) still relatively healthy.

Thanks. I feel like the most difficult thing to deal with is that while sick, I just can’t shake this continues bombardment of pains and discomfort. It makes it so I can barely think, frequently can’t talk (because I can’t focus on the words people say, or can’t arrange my thoughts to talk)

It almost seems like a lot of activities that I used to dislike (going outside, visiting friends, doing sports) are solely because I have once done them while being sick. And the discomfort I felt was so bad that I permanently associate those feelings with those activities.

I now realise that this is not the case, and I should not push myself too much. But my body still seems to react heavily, even though I rationally know I should just take time to rest and it will pass.

Thanks. Any good recipes you recommend?

Thanks, sounds interesting, I’ll check it out!

Usually i’m kinda fine with being dirty for a while. Although being overly sweaty can be a bit uncomfortable. I think my partner is bothered more by this. Especially if the apartment gets dirtier than usual. (I normally do the cleaning and cooking)

It’s a bit strange actually. I know that it’s ok to order food or eat out somewhere nearby when I’m sick. But at the same time, I don’t really have the capacity to make a choice, and even feel like I shouldn’t do it (because it’s less healthy, more expensive) Maybe it’s because anxiety gets stronger when feeling sick? Not sure.

I would love to watch some show or read a bit when sick. But often my eyes become dry and hot when sick. Combined with a headache and suddenly I don’t enjoy it much anymore. Maybe I should consider listening to some podcast or something. But I don’t do that usually, so no idea where to start and searching for something requires looking it up on my laptop, which brings me back to my dry eyes and headaches.

Maybe I can prepare something next time. Any suggestions for things that don’t require my eyes?