What you need, my friend, is a slump buster. Casual sex with a woman you otherwise wouldn’t be interested in. I don’t know if it’s a sixth (or 7th or 8th) sense that women have, but they can tell if you’ve gotten any recently. If you have, it makes you more desirable. Alternatively, a good wank before going out in public, but that’s not nearly as effective. I ended many droughts with a slump buster back in my single days.

“Sorry for the vaporware, here’s some vaporware.”

They can call it “lifetime FSD” (for the life of the vehicle)

You must be new here.

I’ve been approached by a woman exactly one time. We’ve now been married for 21 years.

Yeah but my joke…

Since they’ll be behind the Switch 2 by one version number, they’re going to call this console the “Xbox Go 360”.

Ok, I don’t feel so bad now. Your obsession goes WAY beyond mine. But I need to go throw out my blue bulb 🤢

He’d be a hero who got fucked by tariffs. Instead he’s a villain who got fucked by tariffs.

In an alternate universe where the world is logical, insurrections are terrorism and firebombing teslas is patriotism.

I used to do that, but I’m wondering if that was part of me developing my current condition.

I’m picturing that Pablo Escobar Narcos meme

It’s such a tragedy. I’ve gone from fanboy who watches every single launch to “meh”.

The nazis essentially created our first space program, looks like it’s happening again.

Forbes lets any asshole write for them, and the clickbait always wins. It’s basically ad-supported Medium now.

Maybe it’s Maybelline

Are you really surprised, though?

Current wanted level by the police would be quite handy

That’s ok, I’ll just disagree with their Terms of Service!

Absolutely not gonna waste my time and energy reading that garbage. All it will do is piss me off and weep for humanity more than I do. I refuse to give them eyeballs.

I have no hope of changing their worldview, but if they come at me with their cable news bullshit I’d like to be ready. Last year it was “migrant caravans” and egg prices, both obviously Biden’s fault.