I guess I’m just not reading the literal exact words they wrote, but interpreting what they likely meant was “no one (in the large pool of people I have tried dating) is looking for a meaningful relationship.” It’s like psychoanalzying someone after they got dumped for saying “women are evil” and saying “omg this guy is an incel!” He’s venting about a negative experience, not debating that women are all trash humans. Making generalizations because you’re upset doesn’t make you a bad person or an incel or…

E: also sounds like you’re assuming the worst of some random dude on the internet rather than just seeing him as someone who’s upset or in a bad situation.

If you’ve never run into the situation of living somewhere that everyone seems to only care about themselves I’m glad for you, but that absolutely does happen. I’m a pretty sociable person and moving from 1 city/neighborhood to another, I want nothing to do with “many, many” women around here because they are exactly as he described, there are some cool women too definitely, but the place I used to live had a majority really cool interesting and unique people. If I wasn’t lucky enough to see personally that there are a lot of women who aren’t surface level, I probably would’ve said the same thing as he did. Which is why I said the response I would have is “man that sucks sorry you have to deal with that.”

Just reminding people this handy button exists!

Yeah I think it’s rather women have the same problem dating men, but are much less superficial with other girls

Brutal, yeah I usually skip over people who have those weird qualifiers just out of principle, like yeah maybe this is a negative to you but you’re gonna write off a whole person for that? There are so many amazing people that they’ll never meet just because of some random “dealbreaker.”

“My experience as a man dating has been many many girls are superficial” is in fact bashing many many girls… the ones who are superficial? If a woman said “many many men are superficial” I would say “correct. Sorry you had to deal with people like that.” Not “stop bashing men” when the men they’re talking about are the same people I would complain about!!!

He just implied they were one of the people being complained about, so they got mad and left a mean comment. you’re reading into it too much imo.

Thankfully you are aware enough to write “typically” and know this commenter is an individual person with their own experiences and manner of speaking, so we shouldn’t make assumptions!

Imo that’s just people in general, most have a lot of issues they want to talk through and don’t have people to talk with. After seeing about 9000 online profiles with “pamper me” or “over 6 ft or don’t message” I get the feeling though :>

Most people I’ve met like that seem to either say “I don’t want to think about it so I’m not going to” or “yeah I probably should…” Most actual change I’ve gotten is just saying “if going vegan is too much, just try eating a little less meat, and try to avoid beef and pork” since that’s an easy path forward

Rinse, delayed start and eco mode are unneeded features? Delay start is one of my most used features, many power companies charge less if you use electricity in the middle of the night. Rinse is incredibly useful for if water got stuck on/in some dishes, and eco mode saves power and water. How is a high-end dishwasher not having things that many people use daily “a nothingburger?”

mm I mean it’s hard to pin down specifics but that whole decade, most shows had the guy being an unbelievable idiot causing problems while the girls solved the problems, movies were the same, commercials were probably the last to follow. Maybe not exactly feminism, but the goal was to show women are as competent and sometimes moreso than men, which is a big tenant of feminism, even if it was done super poorly.

I’m not defending their use of feminism, but it seems like common media and messaging for basically two decades definitely did have quite a bit of “anti men pro woman” feeling. Regardless of the actual intent or “real” values of feminism, what many people received was “feminism believes men are stupid/hateful.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence so many people think that’s what feminism is. Likely just a failure of messaging, but I think that’s where their definition is coming from.

I mean that’s hard to say? This seems like it’s just a result of people overcompensating and not realizing they don’t have to say “boy dumb” in order to say “girl equal.” It seems people agree this is what they heard from mainstream feminist messaging, regardless of whether it was “real” feminism or not

They never stated “all feminists,” they said as a movement, feminism has had a lot of messaging that is anti men which was somewhat mainstream in the movement (commercials being played of girl smart boy dumb). I don’t know how common it is but it has absolutely been a noticeable part of feminism intentionally or not.

Sure, but at the same time all of the worst comments I’ve seen have been from instances that were mainly linked to from reddit i.e. lemmy.world. Like, rage inducing misinformation. I prefer the much higher quality of discussions on lemmy which I would rarely see on reddit, but it is tiring seeing linux lotr star trek politics be 99.9% of the content / discussions…

I just wish there was an option for normal people to escape “we’ve added more bloatware and spyware in this mandatory update” without having a CS degree.

I find obsessing over bad choices in the past causes you to not even notice opportunities and good choices you could make in the present. “I should’ve done this” vs “how do I make my neighbor smile the next time I see them?” Which can lead to a new friendship and a new friend group and… But one is more scary because you don’t “know” the result :<

Tl;dr. (jk)

I guess it’s like, I know this post wasn’t aimed at me but even still reading the words “men love to murder” I’m like “hey what? What did I do??”

I didn’t comment on it because it doesn’t bother me that much, but you’re asking why people who are upset and angry make the conversation about them… I think there’s your answer. They probably don’t even fully understand why they’re angry and just wrote what sounded good to them. I’d wager the majority of guys on lemmy are not neurotypical and already experience people treating them poorly, or thought they were scary because they’re weird, and now they’re being grouped with dangerous people. I know that’s not what the post meant, but again it’s the overweight person being sensitive, they’re not choosing to get upset over it that’s just how they reacted.

semi-related, there is a psychiatrist who made a youtube channel called healthygamergg where he would talk about psychology topics and set up coaching for people to improve their lives. I’m in to psychology so I watched quite a few of his videos, but to the point his community had said “you need to address how women are treated in gaming.” (obviously terribly)

So he made a video talking about how women had it hard and that you can’t exist as a woman in a game without being heckled. 100% on board. Then he said “like, women have it so much harder, you guys are living on easy mode.” and I haven’t watched a video of his since if was so hurtful. I know that’s not what he meant, I know he just meant women have a lot of unique struggles men don’t have etc, but to hear the stuff me and my friends went through being called easy mode was… really hurtful. Point being sometimes people have sore spots, and even if they should read it one way, I can’t blame them for reading it another.

I think for me I’m kinda resigned that they will never change their mind because it’s so ingrained in them at this point, especially since every conservative I know perfectly mirrors the current fox news talking points. I guess i point things out to them because I’m talking to them as if it’s a friend, but it’s more like dealing with a cult member, which is really disappointing to me.

“It can’t be as bad as they say it will”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna_principle

I mean sure, what you said is true, but you can’t deny that when given a choice they consistently choose comfort over doing the right thing. It’s the same reason people will say “I really should be vegan” and keep eating meat. While that’s the normal human thing to do, I can still call them out for doing the wrong thing because it’s easy. They also had many many opportunities to turn away from the propaganda when it started to become more insane, but they remained because it was comforting and change would be too difficult.