Every account you ever had, every post/comment you ever posted, now has your real name, a photo of you, and your address, all just magically show up on the webpage right next to each of your posts/comments (also, no “hacking” could hide the info). All deleted posts/comments are magically restored and nothing you do (short of permanently shutting down the website and physical destruction of the servers) can delete them. (Any edits would still show every change you made.) How fucked are you?
And don’t think about changing your name, or moving, all this info updates in real time. (for “magic” reason)
(You also cannot delete any future posts.)
Ehhh, I would be shunned by 2 or 3 family members, which might be a net benefit. I hope the former Oklahoma governor’s daughter doesn’t come after me. I’m more scared of that waxen pale nepobaby more than anyone else. She’s got the money and time to cause havoc, the others do not.
Wait, how is she the governers former daughter?
Ya got me, maybe she started being former when her mom failed to be reelected and the money dried up. ;)